RATIONAL CULTURE, submitted by Seth. I have no idea what this site is about or what they're trying to convey. I'm really at a loss here, this stuff makes the Unabomber Manifesto look like an easy-to-read, illustrated, toothpaste instruction manual. Here's a snip, and my attempted translation:

"The phase of thought has ended, thence the violence was generated."

This makes sense: If you aren't thinking, you're hitting someone in the face with a brick.

"The violence was generated throughout the world because the phase of Thought has ended."

Gee, you think?

"The thought has stopped and the violence got generated."

OK, you just said the same thing three times in a row with slightly different wording. You are retarded, a retard is you, and you are the retard.

"If the thought were functioning, there would be more or less the equilibrium as it had always been before the change of phases that happened in 1935."

What happened in 1935? Is that the year the world stopped being black & white, and switched to color? Huh?

"Before 1935, the thought was functioning; more or less there was equilibrium, everyone more or less in equilibrium, there was respect for everything and everyone, and there was love for one's fellow man."

Yeah, everything was happy and dandy and everyone loved each other. I guess World War I, the Crusades, the Revolutionary War, the Dark Ages, the brutality of the Roman Empire, and the rape and pillage of thousands of Latin American natives by European jack-asses were just giant love orgies in disguise.

"From 1935 up to now, the world has been filled with convulsions."

Convulsions? Is Earth having seizures? Should we be sticking a spoon in its mouth?

"Everything got convulsed in an astonishing way, like everybody is astonished with the happenings all over the world."

Yeah, I'm frigging astonished by the wacky comedic antics of civil war in Kosavo. Huh?

"And the cause for all this: the end of the function of thought."

Umm...

"Because this is the way it is in the matter, the thought had its beginning and its end had to come; for in the matter everything is like that, everything has a beginning and everything has an ending."

Everything has an ending. Is that your big new theory? In that case, when does your life end? Anything I can do to help? Does this damn manifesto have an ending, or is that an exception to this rule? Are you filled by convulsions?

"Everyone, in order to reach equilibrium, has to become united to nature, to the phase of nature, to the Rational Phase, for the development of reasoning and for everything and everyone to become Rationally equilibrated."

So if I hump a tree, I'll be balanced?

"And in order to develop the reasoning, it is only reading and rereading his culture, the RATIONAL CULTURE."

NO, PLEASE! After this experience, I never want to read ANYTHING EVER AGAIN!

"The culture of the reasoning is the RATIONAL CULTURE."

HELP!!!!!!!! HELPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!! MY BRAIN IS MELTING!

Seriously, this page is messed up. Call me crazy, but any site with the motto "YOU HAVE BEEN REMEMBERED BY RATIONAL SUPERIOR AND IT IS NECESSARY THAT YOU REMEMBER OF YOU" probably isn't the best source of accurate information.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful