Douglass K. Wong: Freelance Cheerleader

Douglass K. Wong: Freelance Cheerleader, submitted by Will. Pavement-faced Oriental kid offers his services of tutoring, freelance male cheerleading, and financial services. There's no note explaining if he offers all these services in one single session. However, the true gem of this site is when you scroll on down and read his requirements for a girlfriend.

A GIRLFRIEND TRYOUT EXAM WILL BE AVAILABLE AT THE END OF NOVEMBER. THE EXAM WILL BE MULTIPLE CHOICE/ SHORT ANSWER / ESSAY FORMAT AND WILL BE E-MAILED TO CANDIDATES WHO HAVE SHOWN INTEREST.

I am an American citizen. (Hint) This means that if you are an Asian or European girl you can marry me to get your green card. Girls who tryout for this position are expected to have substantial financial intelligence and a well developed sense of spirit, style, and charisma. My girlfriend/ wife may spend as much as she like, provided that she sets up investments to pay for her expenses.

After a girlfriend or wife is selected, girlfriend tryouts will be closed and Oriental Thunder Freelance Cheerleading Services will be unavailable to the general public until future notice.

So how about it ladies? Are you interested in a freelance male cheerleader who will do your taxes and force you to pass various tests before dating him? Ah, who am I kidding. No females read this site.

PS: He's apparently also looking to purchase vending machine equipment. I assume you have to pass a test before being able to sell it to him.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)