ScubaDate (Thanks, George!)

Scuba Steve is a self-proclaimed "dating coach," relying on the experience culled from "at least 100 dates" to counsel pathetic dudes on how they, too, can pose for photographs with attractive women. (Tip: Use his patented "Hey I noticed you taking pictures, but you forgot one with me" pick-up line!) However, Scuba Steve doesn't rely solely upon his own "CRAZY weekend stories" for anecdotes and insights: He also cites Van Wilder and American Pie 3.

Scuba Steve employs objectionable phrases such as "scooping biddies" and "the tunes I bump in the fly whip" to help give his writing a gentle push from "annoying" to "intolerable." He claims the site exists "for the sake of humor." Sadly, this doesn't seem to mean that his entire persona is a parody of the "desperate loser's guide to seduction" industry (like the crap he touts as "recommended products"). Instead, it suggests he thinks this shit is actually funny.

Funny Lines:

You: “Hey! Can I get your picture?”

Random Breezy #2: “What? Why?”

You: “So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas!”

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller