Pirates have long been a boon for the advertising industry. Who could forget the delightful Captain Crunch, or the villainous Long John Silver, or the filthy wife beater, the Gorton's Fisherman? Pirates send a powerful message to people, which is to avoid scurvy. Apparently, it also carries a second, secret message to buy the product they're shilling. This advertising technique is best evidenced by the most in your face pirate mascot of all, Captain Morgan. He tears back the pages of the magazine you're reading, just to show you what a great time you would be having if you were drunk. Well, drunk and attractive. Any mascot that's willing to ruin MY magazine is cool by me, but unfortunately the advertisements don't really show the true fun of Spiced Rum. Thankfully, the Forum Goons decided to change that. Check it out, G!
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.
Previous Articles
- Bumper Stickers From Hell
- Invasion of the Japanese Movie Posters!
- Suddenly, the Meeting Was Interrupted!
- Wrong Casting Choices
- Products Not Found In Stores