Do you get pissed off when people joke about different characters an actor plays being the same character? Like all those Breaking Bad/Malcom in the Middle jokes? Hopefully you don't, because here's a page of them!
jim carey in his sesrious movies acting like ace ventura / the mask
*escapes from the truman show dome*
DO NOT go in there... whew!!
*beach cabin from his memory goes up in flames behind him as it is erased in eternal sunshine*
*talking out of his butt in a goofy voice* I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be
Mark Ruffalo (with Woody Harrelson on the set of Now You See Me): Pick a card.
Woody Harrelson: I don't wanna, man
Mark Ruffalo (getting larger and muscular and turning green): I SAID PICK A CARD!!!!
Bruce Willis crawling thru air vents to kill the ghosts that are plaguing his child psychology client
deap dish peat moss
home alone 1 -> home alone 2 -> the good son -> party monster
watch as kevin mcallister transitions from harmless home-defense prankster to full-fledged murderer
joseph gordon levitt falls in love with a manic pixie girl then goes to work for the NSA to leak secrets. After he flees to russia, he becomes a detective that works with batman (who was a magician with the wolverine but that's another story) to break into other people's dreams as part of a team with Frank Abagnale Jr.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is a cyborg killing machine sent back in time to kill the mother of a future freedom fighter. But he's also... pregnant? Will his own paternal instincts conflict with the possibility that he's actually carrying John Connor, whom he was technically not programmed to kill?
Tom Hanks: (to Wilson the volleyball) YOU...ARE...A...TOYYYYYYYYYYY!!
[Michael Cera trapped inside of a banana stand with another Michael Cera]
MC1: Sooooo... uh... so do you also play the bass g-
MC2: HAVE A GIRLFRIEND THATS PREGN- erm, *cough* pregnant? sorry. have a girlfriend that's pregnant. I do. yeah
MC2: what? no I *laughs* I don't have a pregnant guitar, no
[several hours of silence and unbroken eye contact follow]
a man sprints around a corner, frantically fleeing from a pair of zombies who are restlessly pursuing him. Stopping for brief moment, he takes aim with his double-barrel shotgun and fires, landing a solid hit on one of the zombies' heads and detonating its skull, its now lifeless corpse slumping to the ground. Aiming again, he hits the second zombie at the waist, severing both its legs and reducing it to weakly crawling across the ground. Reloading his weapon, the man takes aim one last time and says,
Buzz lightyear grunts approvingly upon seeing how powerful the rocket is that Sid is going to strap him to
I ah...I'm having a really tough time lately. Aliens, uh, aliens are trying to, trying to invade and wipe out all of humanity. Meanwhile I'm stuck on this, uh, this island full of dinosaurs. That would be, ah, that would be hard enough if I wasn't, ah, if I wasn't also turning, uh, that is, mutating into an insect, but uh...well, there it is.
Michael Myers does a phony Scottish accent
Donkey from Shrek: "You ever get like sometimes ye get on that toilet and ye shit, that water splash up on yo' ass? Don't that make ye mad, right? You know what really make mad is when the shit is halfway out, then go back up in that mothafocka. Why do shit be teasin' yo' ass? Just get the fuck out, right? You know what really make me mad is when yo' ass don' cooperate whicha then clinch up and break the shit in half? You be mad like a motherfucker too coz you gotta whip yo' ass for 5 hours. Use 12 roles o' toilet paper on that mothafocka. You know what really bother me is when you be strainin' for a long time and one lil' pebble shit comes out? Y' want some shit this big right? Stick yo' head up your ass and say: That all the shit I'm gonn' get mothafocka? And it's afterwards right, when you done with shit, you done all the shittin' you gonna do for the whole day and you flush that toilet and one chunk come back... WHAT DOES THAT CHUNK WANT?"
oh, you're gonna pour bees on my head? yeah real cute, idiots. don't you know i can literally light my head on fire? dumbasses. this is really unbelievable.
We're not going to solve gun massacres with bad manners, people.
The guns are gone. Now what happens to all those paper targets? Don't tell me you forgot about the paper targets. The ones hanging from little clips on fancy clotheslines at shooting ranges. With no guns to destroy these legions of paper bastards, they go unchecked.
A sign proclaiming "BACTA: DA FUTURE" marks the town's medical clinic
1998: I upload dave.pcx, and change the course of history
Set goals for yourself, and fulfill them. Absurd! Only in video games!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.