Street Fighter: Contenders (The Street Fighter Monster Manual)

Zack: I see John McCain's sixth plane was shot down somewhere over Cybertron.

Steve: Imagine waking up from surgery to this situation. "Legion, I've got good news and bad news..."

Zack: Give me the good news first.

Steve: Oh, well, I really thought you would want the bad news first.

Zack: Nope, think positive. Hit me with that good news.

Steve: Remember that part in Star Wars where Darth Vader gets his hand cut off?

Zack: Yeah, I guess. They replaced it with a mechanical hand.

Steve: Exactly. But don't you think it would have been better if they had replaced it with two mechanical hands?

Zack: What!? Two mechanical hands. Doc, you're not making a lick of sense. That would be ridiculous. Absolutely stupid. Why would he want three hands?

Steve: This isn't going the way I thought about in my head before I came in here.

Zack: Holy mother of shit. Sweet Appaloosa bung on a biscuit. Why in the name of Christ do I have three arms?

Steve: Um...surprise! This is the good news I was trying to tell you about.

Zack: Legion should be glad he didn't get the surgery 20 years earlier. He'd have seven hooks on one side. Maybe a half-dozen plates bolted to that circus peanut of a head.

Steve: Maybe they just want him to feel like he got a good deal.