Mmm, what do I love to do more than cook? Well, I can name about a thousand other things, including "piercing my nipples with a sewing kit" and "watching a Pauly Shore film festival." But hey, I get spam mail and I have an uncontrollable urge to spam them back. So sue me.

From: sales@dvo.com
Subject: ADV: What's Cook'n Good Look'n?

Wouldn't it be neat to computerize 50 of the BEST cookbooks? It would be a lot of typing, but IMAGINE having all those DELICIOUS recipes at your fingertips. You could e-mail them to friends, adjust serving sizes, and combine them to make menus and shopping lists.

I thought it would be really neat--That's why I created Cook'n 99 (http://www.dvo.com). I wasn't alone either--Cook'n 99 has now become the #1 Best Selling cooking title on the market. It is helping thousands of people prepare delicious meals in minutes, take control of their recipe collection, satisfy dietary needs, and simplify grocery shopping.

Now you can order Cook'n direct for only $24.95. All orders received before Mar. 5 pay NO Shipping & Handling! Get Cook'n (pun intended) right from our website, http://www.dvo.com, or call 1-888-GO-COOKN (1-888-462-6656).

Your satisfaction is guaranteed.

Sincerely,

Daniel V. Oaks Jr., President


From: Richie Richie
Subject: OH YAY!

Daniel-

That is a great idea you have about collecting all the various recipes and putting them into one, easy-to-read CD-ROM guide! I enjoy cooking (when I have the time), but for various reasons my cookbooks are just (pardon the French) going to heck! My son grabs a page from a cookbook when he needs to quickly write down some girl's phone number! My husband "lost" an ENTIRE cookbook once when he was working on the septic tank out back and needed some extra leverage to clean out the pipes. And once I came back from the market and found a cookbook tore to shreds by my silly pet ferrets (Sunshine, Candy, Pretty Boy, Gloria, Slinky, Jasmine, Goldie, and Ohcnop)! So I believe that a CD-ROM of recipes would be a lot more difficult to lose or become misplaced.

I am also writing this letter to give you another idea for a potential cookbook. Sometimes when I'm almost all out of food, I try mixing and matching recipes to accommodate what ingredients I do have. Alot of these "experiments" ;-) come out really well! Some of the recipes I have created are:

* Broiled ham with olives

* Spaghetti and jam (strawberry is the best)

* "Yellow" pudding

* Pickles and cured beef (tastes vaguely English)

* Mayonnaise eggs

* Cream of Mustard soup

If you'd like, I could send these recipes to you. Maybe you could create an "on-line" cookbook filled with user submissions! I think that would be a great idea, what do you think?

-Richie Poo

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)

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