forbiddenforum posted:

I have a problem. I live in orange county and am trying to buy hevi-shot buckshot, or just winchester if they dont have it. Im 19 Year old And Every shop I go to That has it (grants guns, Saddleback gun store,Yeti gunsmith) Claims its a waste of money and birdshot is better for personal defence.They always ask me why I want to buy hevi shot for my remington 870 home defense,Like im buying some Armour piercing bullets or something.

Shesh!

Is there something against buckshot in the shotgun world, To me bird shot is like less than lethal, you use it if you want your attacked to run around after you shot him, If i have people like last halloween, Bringing out a rifle and shotting my garage and my dads leg (broke the bone and everything) I dont think birdshot will cut it.

Basically IM asking

1. Is birdshot ok for defence
2. Any orange county shop that you know doesnt give you a mouth if you try to buy hevi shot buckshot.
3.Why is buckshot like the new ak-47 barrel, its taboo.

Im currently at work atm, And dont think I could get my dad to show his legs on the internet...So no pics,sorry.

At this point, somebody helpfully provided a location where this upstanding young man could purchase the aforementioned buckshot. forbiddenforum replied:

Turners in Fountain Valley Thanks

Duh I swear the USMC and MArine guys I was buying from hate to give away buckshot.
The halloween engagement Im especting Is a gang that comes around ever chrismas ,in a truck and goes and shoots at everyones puckins. they use very powerful bb guns or steal paintballs or something since its very quite.

I knew birdshot was grips, they just dont want me to use buckshot
#1 buckshot is the best...but might as well use slug , I want 00 For its penetration off the stertnum, its like 00 buckshot is a bunch off 9mm rounds heading your way!
Shortly afterwards, this happened.
William Freund (c. 1986 - October 29, 2005) was a nineteen-year-old male who donned a cape and paintball mask and went on a shooting rampage in the city of Aliso Viejo, California. He shot and killed two people before going home and killing himself with a shot to the torso. Before going on the rampage, he is said to have posted his plans on the online Asperger's Syndrome message board wrongplanet.net. He also posted on the Something Awful Forums under the alias "forbiddenforum" asking for information on where to buy Hevi-Shot ammunition. Forum members responded with information, then derision as he claimed that he was going to be shooting at people attempting to vandalize his Halloween pumpkins. The thread was closed a few days before his shooting spree. He also posted on AnandTech but never commented on suicide or his plans to kill. He was a computer expert who, according to his employer, kept to himself and severely lacked social skills.
The Detector posted:
When I met my girlfriend, she seemed like a perfect match. She appeared to be a deep and caring person who could look past the physical handicaps I have. You see, I suffer from two severe abnormalities. The abnormalities, located in my chest region and gravely serious (gynecomastia and galactorrhea), severely damaged my chances of finding friendship and made me sort of antisocial. The day I met her, I practically skipped home.

I have some weird brain things, and I'm a bit of a packrat. This sort of helps to explain some of my motivations, I think. A few years ago I read a post on SA describing someone keeping their semen in a water bottle. I don't remember the exact circumstances surrounding this somewhat disgusting hobby/collection, but I was sort of intrigued. I wondered how long it would take, with my regular schedule, to fill up a water bottle with my semen. It wasn't really a sex thing to me; I was just curious as to how long it'd take to fill up. I kept it hidden deep under my bed and surrounded it with shoeboxes, magazines, and anything else disposable I could find, and I only brought it out when I... erm, "relieved" myself.

Now, I'd say me and my girlfriend had been dating for a little over a year when she decided to move in. She was having some trouble at home, so I felt the least I could do was accommodate her. At this point, the bottle was probably halfway full and had a strange smell to it, but I didn't worry too much because she wasn't sleeping in my bedroom and even if she went in there, it would be incredibly hard to find unless you were looking something.

And therein laid the one, fatal flaw that ruined everything.

Apparently she "lost" something, and went through my room while I was visiting my grandmother. She got pretty far under my bed and found my little experiment. When I got home, she had this completely ludicrous look of disgust on her face and just started yelling about "WHAT THE HELL'S THIS" and "GOD IF THIS IS WHAT I THINK IT IS". I was incredibly embarrassed, but I knew if I was going to come out of the situation cool, I had to act as if I was more offended than her. I knew that I had to act that she was the one in the wrong (which she pretty much was).

I lunged at her and screamed some sort of weird combination of "WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?! IS IT THAT BIG OF A DEAL?! WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO GO THROUGH MY PROPERTY?! CHILL OUT, BITCH!" She threw the bottle down, it cracked, and then she just stormed out of my house like that was the end.

It's been a day and she won't stop calling me. I know she probably wants to break up, but I am also certain that I can fix this. I mean, obviously nothing's going to work out in the long-term, but I can't leave this relationship without banging her at least once. So I have to ask you goons how you think I can fix this. Obviously, this seems sort of weird, and you might think I acted somewhat childish, but I didn't do anything wrong. I gave her a house. I have her food. I gave her love. Ignore all the strangeness that seems upsetting out-of-context, and look at this from my perspective.

I'm actually posting this from a fellow goon's house (who has asked to remain anonymous), because I'm afraid she's going to show up at my place before I get a strategy figured out. This whole situation is just utterly ridiculous.
More The Great Goon Database

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful