Graduation ceremonies are convoluted, pointless, and boring, and that’s just for the people getting diplomas. The two+ hour events are almost unbearable for anyone stuck in the audience. No one likes these things. Your siblings were guilted to attend, your parents paid for it, and your grandparents don’t know what they’re doing anymore, but someone dragged them out of the home anyway. If you’re stuck in the audience, print out this handy activity sheet (inspired by third grade teachers from across the world) and try to have some fun.
Good luck.
–
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- Virtual Indecent Maid 4 English F.A.Q.
- The Scroll of Unfortunate Prophecy Predicts: Cinema
- Reading Time: The Truth Comes Out
- SA Celebrity Stalker: Actually May Edition
- College Application Essay.doc