Could you imagine a world without the internet? I know, it's pretty hard to think about. Instead of sitting on their asses in front of a computer screen people would go outside and experience what the world has to offer. People would create real relationships with other real people instead of making love to an instant messaging program. Sounds good huh? Wrong! The true purpose of the internet is keeping people like that out of the real world. Do you really want some role playing fetish fuck standing in line with you at the grocery store, or would you rather have them stored safely away in front of their computer screen, away from the rest of us? Would you rather have Counter-Strike nerds playing that stupid game for hours on end in their room, or do you want them out and about attempting to trip over third base with your daughter? The choice is obvious. For all that we curse the internet for, it is actually a blessing. It's a kind of prison for those too stupid or mentally unstable to escape it's suffocating grasp. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Counter-Strike Forums

Out of all the popular online games Counter-Strike has the worst community hands down. Enter any of the seven thousand 24/7 de_dust servers and you'll be pelted with a barrage of OMG HAX, OMG U SUX, OMG AWP WHORE, and OMG CAMPER messages. Doing anything that results in you scoring a point in this horrible game results in these overplayed phrases being flung left and right. For some reason, winning in Counter-Strike will cause other players to question your sexual orientation. Sadly, these people have also learned how to post on an internet forum.

To be perfectly honest though, the Counter-Strike forums aren't all that bad. I'm surprised actually. I thought it would be much much worse. The morons in the following images were usually frowned upon. I guess having twenty moderators per forum would help a little.

Approximately one-third of the posts on the Counter-Strike.net forums are users asking where to get a cd-key or how to change one. Apparently no one can afford the ten dollars that Half Life costs these days.

Oh that's great. If I wanted to see a database of horrible Counter-Strike servers I'd just fire up Steam and look at the server list.

But I read about it on GameFaqs. How could it not be true???

Just what we need, more Counter-Strike web pages. Just add it to the pile I suppose, trash collection is on Thursdays.

Because my mom said I can't get this game if there's flying body parts.

The AWP is a huge issue in Counter-Strike. Whether you hate the AWP or not I think we can all agree that everyone who argues about it is a huge nerd.

Shop fast at Smart and Final, the smaller, faster warehouse store!

Buying a cd-key off of some guy in #cs-thugz isn't exactly going to result in you getting a valid key.

Well I suppose the first thing you have to do is assume Counter-Strike is a realistic game, and that would be just plain silly.

You can use a Doom 3 cd-key to play CS 1.7 online. I read it on the internet.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful