BACK TO BACK
OFFICE CHAIR ACTION!!!


These bad boys recline JUST FOR YOU!

DRINKING GLASSES
AT AWKWARD ANGLES!


It's gonna tip... OR IS IT?!?

IBUPROFEN WITH
POTENTIAL ENERGY!!!


All that energy stored up JUST FOR YOU!

VCR COUNTERS
READING ONE SECOND!


In just ONE SECOND you'll be SPENT!

SIGN UP NOW FOR A FREE* ONE YEAR** MEMBERSHIP***!!!
* $19.95 per month
* One year = one month
* Membership = "we steal your car"


That's RIGHT, we here at SOMETHING AWFUL are unable to afford things like FOOD or DRINK or WATER or HEROIN because THERE IS NO WAY TO MAKE MONEY FROM THE INTERNET! So we decided to turn THIS WEBSITE into the INTERNET'S FIRST HOT, BORING FETISH SITE! SEX is the only goddamn thing that GENERATES MONEY in this GOD-FORESAKEN WASTELAND OF LIES, so we're finally CASHING IN and hoping to earn ACTUAL MONEY instead of PROVIDING FREE CONTENT to people who INCESSANTLY COMPLAIN about the quality of their FREE CONTENT! Welcome to the HOT, BORING FETISH SITE where we'll TEASE and TANTALIZE you with such HIGHLY NON-EXOTIC fetishes as:

- IRAQI CHILDREN with AMERICAN FRUIT AND VEGETABLES! (click HERE for a FREE PREVIEW)
- DOWNLOAD STATUS BARS constantly stuck at 57%! (click HERE for a FREE PREVIEW)
- WIFE COUNTING; just HOW MANY WIVES does THAT GUY HAVE? TRY to COUNT THEM ALL!
- CIVIL WAR HISTORY TEACHERS captured by APE MEN!
- DUST IN or AROUND dining room TABLES!
- MEN using COMBS they found AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN while a SQUID FLOATS BEHIND THEM!
- SQUIRRELS in HATS!
- FANTASIES of a TAX REFUND!

Once you get a TASTE of the RAW ACTION, you'll NEVER WANT TO GO BACK to your MISERABLE and utterly PATHETIC life of HORRID SQUALOR! So SIGN UP NOW while MEMBERSHIP IS ABSOLUTELY 100% FREE* and DO SOMETHING RIGHT for once in your life!
* Membership costs $19.95 per month or possibly more if we decide to bill you more for no apparent reason.

© 2003 Something Awful's House of HOT BORING FETISH ACTION

HOT HOT HOT
STACKED BOXES!!!


Stacked with RAW SEXUALITY!

CAT TOYS
OUT OF REACH!!!


He can't grab it... CAN YOU?!?

SMOKE DETECTORS
WHICH MAY NOT WORK!


There's a fire... IN MY PANTS!

HALLWAY DOORS
THAT ARE UNLOCKED!!!


You've got the key to unlock HOT ACTION!