A SPECIAL SNEAK PREVIEW FOR WINDWOWS WHISTLAR AND WHY IM SORRY FOR BURNING DOWN MY KITCHEN

BY JEFF K!!!! (PS: CLICK HEAR TOO VISITS MY QUALIETY HOMEWPAGES!)

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Hear are teh new featares for Windows Whistlear:WINDOWS WHISTALR DONT STEAL MY GRAPFICS YUO PIG

  • Start and menu buttons are much biggar becuase they are now hard too see. Micorosoft got too maney tech support emales from peopal saying "I CANT SHUTS DOWN MY COMPUTAR MACHENE BECUASE IM AN IDEIOT" so they makes the button 500 x 500 pixels now and it floats all ovar teh screen and says "HEY FISHFACE, CLICK ME, YOU CLUMSY OAF!" and yuo cant turn off teh sound because then Bill Gates wont reveal teh hiddan secrats of Whistlar and where he stole teh diamonds.
  • They now have a secrat Microsoft warez servar where yuo can download yuor drivars and FTP yuor tarball too. now when yuo boot up Windows Whistlar checks yuor machene and tries too always put new drivars on it and sometimes adds Edde Brickel mp3s.
  • MaGIC DRIVARS! if yuo load up new beta NDIVIA drivars and realize that yuor computar machene now puts evarything in green and it looks like a turd puzzal. Because NDIVIA cant code drivars and thats why they baught 3DFX so mabey they can get soem engineers that dont spend all day downloadeing pictares of grandma and emaleing themselfes! Now if yuo get buggey drivars yuo can click a buttan and the drivars will go back too yuor last drivers before NDIVIA thought they could be smarty men and add feature called "CRASH ON LOADING" witch is vary dumb if yuo asks me.
  • Teh HELP menu si new too! It si in HTAML which means yuo go to look up "WHAT TIME WILL BILL GATES EAT DINNAR WITH ME?" and then it uses HTAML and eFont tells yuo that yuo are Prize Crazy! thes si not vary good if yuo asks me because I am not Prize Crazy and WFT si eFont anyway, soem crazzey junk I thinik! Plus there is jabbascript witch is anothar backdoor for ROOT ACCESS on yuor monitar.
  • More processor hogging and CPU BOULDARS!!~ becuase Windows Whistlar wont work unless yuor computar machene can crunches teh numbars!!! And Microsfot si working with INTEL so yuo haev too keep buying new machenes to run there code every month. On teh service pack ,yuoll need a Petium 7 293900000 just too play Minesweeper because it will be in 3D and evary tiem yuo lose Bill Gates comes out and says "BETTAR LUCK NEXT TIME JETHRO!" and then he slaps yuo in virtual realiety.

So as yuo can see, Microsoft Wishtlar is not going to be vary good or mayeb it si, I dont know. Microsoft should send me there crappey products so I can reviews them but they wont becuase I DONT SUGARCOAT REVIEWS liek ZDNAT or GAMETUB! I tell it liek it is, TEH STRAIGHTTALK EXPRESS!!! and if yuo dont liek it then yuo can go rent a shoe becuase I dont care, I am a JONRALIST and speak in turth!

WHY I AM SORREY I BURNED DOWN TEH KITCHEN!!!

I am vary sorrey I burned down teh kitchen mom because I was being iresponsabal and I should not have tried too makes pancakes with matches in them. Jerry saids that it would make them cook fastar because we were in a hurray becuase Road Roavers was comeing on TV in shortly! Tiem!! so we poured teh mix in and threw it on teh pan and then Jerry had teh matches and says "FIRE WILL COOK IT FASTER" so I put them under the pan and turned on teh stove and then we smelled smoke and Jerry ran hoem! and Jerry left his brothar Franklin ovar here so I started throwing plates at him and he ran away too. And I threw Gatoraid all ovar teh fire and then hit teh smoke detector with a hammar so it would SHUT UP

I am sorrey I let evarything catch on fire because I know yuo said I shoudant cook when dad isant home but dad was gone at teh Snow cone machene conventian and I beat up Jerry for being such a FAGOT latar. I WILL NOT COOK AGAIN WHEN YUO ARE NOT HOEM AND I AM SORREY SO PLEAS DONT GROUND ME BECUASE I WANT TOO GO SEE SLIPNOT THES WEEKEND AND I AM RELLY SORRYE!!!!

THANK YUO MOM

I MEAN DAD

- JEFF K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

CLICK HEAR TOO VISITS MY QUALIETY HOMEWPAGES!