5-20-2002

BY JEFF K!!!!

page 33

OREGON TRALE 2004: TEH REVENGE
BY K3WLS0FT

TEH MARTIANS ON TEH MOON WILL TRIES TOO STOP YUO BUT DONT LET THEM OR ELSE YOULL FAILS A MISSIAN!!!

oregan traile has been known for its qualitey and gameply for generatians. it has surpassed teh expectatians of evan teh hardest criminals. So there must be vary big footsteps for OREGONE TRALE 2004: TEH REVENGE to fills now becuase it was used too be so good! it used PASCAL. I had a chance too speaks with Gary Hendrickson who dosant work at teh companey but I think he knows somebodey that dose.

ME (JEFF K!!!!): "Hello Marty, how are yuo on tthes fine evening?"
HIM: "great, tahnks for asking Jeff K!!!!"
ME: "Excellant. Now pleas tells me about thes new game rooted in intruige and a fine theme!"
HIM: "I haev not seen teh game yet but I t hink it si about an Origon Trale on teh moon becuase it si teh year 2004 and we have colon sized teh moon. yuo must get some weary travallars from teh dark side of teh moon to the white side where they can start a settelment and begin life anew."
ME: "Wow, how can I imagine such a spectacal!"
HIM: "yuo cant! yuo have too buy suplies and space Oxen too acomplish yuor missian or else yuo eat teh cosmick death."
ME: "A BRAIN TWISTAR INDEED!!!"
HIM: "yes I must go now"
ME: "oh are yuo going to programe some more?"
HIM: "No I must call my bail agent"

AND with taht teh intarview was ovar quickly liek sands in an hourglass! I haev not seen teh game but Jerry has and he saids it's "A-1 PLUS +++" for excitement. OF course Jerry thinks teh Mermaid from teh "GOONNIES" gaem was a sexy supper so who si he too judge a charactar so quickley??? I dont know but I put soem more scrreenshots somewhere someplace, I am too tired too remembar where so bug off yuo simming turd. look on "my desktop" in Lunix!

YUO ARE A FAGOT
BY LITCHTECH

helo Jason Hall pleas dont eat all teh POWER AIDE 40000 PILLS AT GNC at teh mall and then GO CRAZZY and break into teh muffin store at a corner street shop!

Litchtech has been known across teh globe as being a companey with revolutianarey ideas and extreame games taht leaves teh competitian behind in the dust!!! for exampal, in Blood 2 yuo could shoot a flare gun! And in Showgo there was a robot!!! YUO CANNOT SEES THAT IN OTHAR GAMES YUO KNOW WHY? BECAUSE A LITTAL BIT OF LOVE AND MAGIC GOES INTO EVARY LITHTECH PROJECT as well as a lots of red light. Jason Hall is a CEO on Litchtech and he has monstar eye vissian whitch means when he looks out his eyes evarything si red with FURREY!!! and so he storms into teh art group and says "we need more red light, AAARRRRRR!" and breaks a chair ovar his back and Mean Gene Oakerlund hits him with a microphone and oh that ends a hard's day work and they go hoem to there cages. RESPECTIVELY!!!

In there newest upcomeing exclusive game, "YOU ARE A FAGOT", yuo must palay teh role of a fagot. Jason Halls commands a project from experiance so yuo know these reality based tital will sell well to INDONESIA and taht country where they haev gangs who play Diablo and kill each othar in real life because theyre family eats dogs and Starcraft si for fruit lungs anyway so doent palay starcraft because ZERG RUSHES SI FOR THE WEAK OF MIND AND ID RATHAR GO TO TEH MALL THAN PLAY YUO IN ZERG RUSH: TEH GAME!!! teh only place I want too rush when playing that si out of teh room because I am not a pansey flower and I lieks a good attack more than teh next man.

ANYWAY hear si a Intarview I did with Jason Hall of Licktech. he was lonely because nobody else wanted too talk to him and too tells yuo teh truth I didant either but he started crying in his large, large, large chair so I finally said "OKEYS" and intarviewed him because I was afraid his bulbous tears would flood teh E9 HALL!!! AND I DONT PAY FOR CARPET BILLS MISTAR!!!

ME: (JEFF K:)!!!!: "hello King of teh Monstars, how are yuo?"
JASON HALLS: "I HAEV CHICKEN IN MY MOUTH!"
ME: "oh yuo do are eating a whole chickan, how exciteing!"
JASON HALLS: "NOW I WILL EAT A ENTIRE COW"
ME: "shove it yuo greasy muscal bard! Now tell me about yuor newest game or else Ill punch my way through yuor guts!"
JASON HALL: "Our newest game si bassed on me, it si called "YUO ARE A FAGOT" and it is about my experiance growing up. I was a teenage fagot yuo see, and now I am oldar fagot. Yuo can tell because I inject windsheld wipar fluid into my muscally arms and benchpress a barn too teh moon and back!"
ME: "OH well yuo really are a fagot!"
JASON HALL: "yes it si teh sad truth!"
ME: "how many colars will yuo be using for colared lighting?"
JASON HALL: "ALL OF THEM!!!"
ME: "OH NO!!!"
JASON HALL: "I AM A FAGOT!"
ME: "I AGREES!""

and at that point Jason Hall picked up a card tabal and broke it ovar his head and wrestled with a pig and won a prize. It was vary exciteing, almost as exciteing as when Paul Steed tryed too sneak in but teh security guards wont let him in because he's a HAS BEEN and now nobody will hire him because all his modals are big titty boobs and now his only job is taht of a garage cleaner. GET YUOR GARAGE CLEANED BY PAUL STEED, $5.00! HE WILL PUNCH YUOR WIFE IN THE FACE FOR FREE AND CURSE ALLOT!!! Hahahahahahahahahah what a deal! So Jason Hall is cretin and his game looks too be liek yet anothar Lickteck gaem that nobodey plays for various good reasons. BUT it has moer colared lightning than UNREAL and that makes Mark Reain cry tears of joy because he cant be sad, he just runs around giggaling and smiling because ONCE YUOR A USED CAR SALESMAN YUO CANT NEVER NOT GO BACK! If yuo know what I mean! AND I mean taht Mark Raein si takeing a littal nose candy or something if yuo know what I mean! AND YUO DO! so dont buy whatevar this game si, I forgot./

WELL that about raps it up for this years excitement! I will maeybe cover E3 next year if NDIVIA WRITES BACK TO ME AND LETS ME GO AND PAYS FOR MY FEAST ON THERE EXPENSE REPORT but off course that will not happen because I do not use strongarm technicques and wont be an Intarnet bulley. BY TEH WAY NDIVIA, WHERE SI MY GEFORCE 4 CARD OH WAIT I DONT HAVE ONE THANKS A LOT FOR TEH NOTHING, GENTS!!! I will go to Santa Clausara and beats them all up with a pole fashioned from STEEL and THEN WE'LL SEE WHOSE LAUGHING TEH LAST LAUGH! IT WILL PROBABLY BE ME AND OF COARSE MARK REIN BECAUSE THAT GUY CANT'S STOP THE MUSIC!!!

BWaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

SEE YUO LATAR YUO FAT MENCAES!!!!

BWWAGBAGAGAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! GABAGABAGABAGABABGABGAG

TEH END!

BY JEFF K

YUO CAN READS MY WEBPAGE HEAR! DONT EMALE ME BECAUSE I DONT READ ANYTHING EVAR ANYMORE AND YUO ARE WASTEING MY TIME WITH YUOR BANTAR!!! BYE, FLYFLAPS!!!

ME!!!!:

JEFF K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111#########@$$%@ PS: DONT SEE STAR WARTS 2: EPISODE 2: ATTACK OF TEH CLOANES BECAUSE ITS LIEK SHIT IN SPACE AND WHO CARES ABOUT SPACE SOAP OPARAS??? GO SEE SPIDARMAN BECAUSE ITS GOT SPIDARS!!!!! WHERE ARE TEH SPIDARS IN START WARS 2 GEORGE LUCASS? HUH? HUH?!?!?!? what a clam