5-20-2002

BY JEFF K!!!!

page 2

LEOMANAIDE STAND 2002
BY BUNKERSOFT

ou tries too run teh leeoamande stand but watch out for teh spaceships from MARS!!! JERRY SI AFRAID OF MARS, WHAT A FAT WEENER/

thes looks too be teh smash hit of 2003 with its cuteing edge graphics and a capabilitey to make much hoolabaloo. In "Lemanaide Stand 2002" yuo palay teh part of a Leamonade salesaman and yuo must sells teh lemonaide to pesky rugrats and improtant buisnessmans. BUT all si not what it seems becuase yuo must learn about SUPOPLEY AND DEMAND and do yuo need to buy more lemons or water??? or SPEND more money on marketing? OR WHAT?!?!?!?!?! it Is a difficult problam too solve but Leaomanade Stand challenges yuor brain too new degrees. HEAR SI an intarview I did with Peter Coneneoly of BUNKERSOFT SOFTWAERE:

ME (JEFF K!!!): "helo Sam, how are yuo?"
HIM: "I am doing vary good tooday."
ME: "well how do yuo know! tell me about yuor new gaem, Lemonande Stand 2002!"
HIM: "Well yuo must sells teh leomaende to pesky rugrats and improtant buisnessmans to survive teh harsh ecomonic climate and win."
ME: "well well well this certainely sounds liek a challange!"
HIM: "Oh yes it is! Most certainely!"
ME: "does it use a video card liek NDIVIA??"
HIM: "yes a video card si recomended."
ME: "THANKS FAGOT!"

that was teh end of that but I latar got in contact with his PR person but they were suposed to send me soem screenshots of teh game but the PR person wasant able to send them because their AOL account didant allow such larage pictares too be sent. SO hear are some ones I got from their 5.25 INCH PR DISCKETTE (FLOOPY DISKETTE FOR YUO MACINTOSH PEOPAL, AHAHAHHAHA!!!) oops I put it above hear! Well look up there then yuo lazzy horsehand.

ESCAPE FROM TEH PLANAT OF ALIEN MONSTARS (YOU CANNOT ESCAPE OR EVAR WIN!)
BY HELL'S BELLS INC.

donut try too hides undar an alian tree BECAUSE YUO CANNOT ESCAPE OR EVAR WIN!!!!!!!!11111111

Thes game looks too certainely be teh feelgood sensatian of 2001 for sure! In "ESCAPE FROM TEH PLANAT OF ALIEN MONSTARS (YOU CANNOT ESCAPE OR EVAR WIN!)" yuo palay teh part of a human named "Mr. Bullet Gun Stabwounds" who si traped on an alian robot planat of teh creataears. Yuo must use cunning strenth to defeat teh hoareds of zombies and figare out complex puzzles which bend yuor mind liek a spoon in heat. In one level there si a door but it dosant open and yuo cants blow it open becuase yuor gun si made of (YOU DONT HAEV ANY GUN!!!) and yuo must figare out this compelex puzzal to gain yuor freedom! aftar palaying it for 50 minutes I found a switch yuo must pull and taht opens the door! What a puzzal! I intarviewed Randy Barkins who si teh lead programer on Hells Bells as well as teh textare artists and sound guy and project lead and PR person:

ME: (JEFF K!!!!): "Hello Petar, how are yuo doing today!"
HIM: "Just fine liek a bird in teh evening JEFF K!"
ME: "oh how so vary nice too hears. So tells me about yuor new game packed with excitesment and intrigue liek a Spanish harlot"
HIM: "Well yuo are on an Alian Monstar planat and must escape!"
ME: "oh no, this sounds thrilling!"
HIM: "IT si vary thrilling and uses state of teh art graphic techology!"
ME: "Oh realley, such as waht?"
HIM: "there is both blue AND white on teh screen at once!"
ME: "yuo have accomplished teh impossiabal on this one, Petar!"
HIM: "we recommend yuo use RAMDOUBLAR for best perforamance."
ME: "UNDOUBTEDLY!"
HIM: "I agree"
ME: "How do you win teh game?"
HIM: "yuo cannot escape or evar win."
ME: "REVOLUTIONARY!!!1"

no othar game at e3 has this kinds of featares in it so say "GOODBYE MOLLEY" and "HELLO DOLLEY" too a new sensatian that will rock yuo from here to Las Orleans!!! Randy saids his game will be ready in teh summar because thats when schools ovar and he can spends more tiem on it. IF IT DOSANT GET SENT TO SUMMAR SCHOOL!!!! WHICH HE MIGHT BECUASE HIS MOM IS A DEVIL'S GRAVE!!! so lets keep our fingars cvrossed at go to www.goneglod.com to see when teh game goes glod.

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