The marginally notable writer Leo Tolstoy once said: "All great literature is one of two stories; a man goes on a journey or a stranger comes to town." Well, almost. That quote is in fact an abridged version of a much longer quote. According to Tolstoy, all great literature is actually one of twenty two stories. These are the other twenty.
A man goes to flavortown
A hero wakes up with amnesia in an imperiled village
A woman looks at a distant bowl of cereal through a pair of binoculars
An orangutan must check in to a hotel
A child discovers magical pocket monsters, or pokemon if you will
A chosen one must find an important item... and the fate of the world hangs in the balance!
A man goes on a short jog
A charming rogue learns of an advanced "precursor" race and learns to be more responsible
A married person thinks about cheating. They cheat, and feel bad about it. Something leads them to resolve never to cheat again. Then they cheat again and feel bad about it. This goes on for several years and remains completely fascinating.
A man must kill many enemies in stylish ways before kissing a woman
A Downton Abbey viewer sees the Anna character and is reminded of their intense childhood attraction to Gadget from Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers
A wronged party formally requests the safe return of an Eggo waffle which has been stolen from a trusted family member
A dog learns that all canines go to Heaven and immediately commits itself to a life of wretched sin
A baby becomes a boss
A nonstop thrill ride that will have you on the edge of your seat!
A cheeky nonce nicked me lorry, bruv
A kid who gets into an accident and can't come to school. But when he finally comes back, his hair has turned from black into bright white. He says that it's from when the cars had smashed him so hard.
A fitness instructor gone rogue... a mutant crime boss on the take... it's time for aerobic justice!
A ghost learns how to drive a stick shift
A woman takes her reluctant friends out for dinner every week and insists on paying the bill WITH HER BLOOD
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
"God of War is the realization of our collective hopes and dreams, not just as gamers, but as gamer-citizens."
My game is funded. Now I know everything.
Sea of Thieves: Reduced the number of quest types from 3 to 2
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.