It's been established that people are willing to pay premium prices for clothing that arrives already in disrepair. People buy pre-ripped jeans, which, all things considered, might be the stupidest purchasable item ever conceived. Now Easy Tiger Corp has started peddling pre-stained underwear in an attempt to test the limits of consumers' sadistic appetite for debased apparel. The skid marks allegedly contain no actual fecal matter, a revelation that eliminates the health-based argument against owning Easy Tiger briefs. Countless aesthetic objections remain.

Unlike pre-ripped jeans manufacturers, Easy Tiger acknowledges the inherent goofiness of its product line. But like pre-ripped jeans manufacturers, Easy Tiger sells something that no one with even a vague semblance of intelligence would even consider buying at any price, or accepting for free, or agreeing to wear for a modest salary.

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

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