Would mind picking up a few things for me while you're out? It's just a handful of pantry staples. I already have the list jotted down for you.
Sonic the Hedgehog should be Speed Racer, the Wachowskis' 2008 film. Not inspired by Speed Racer. Not a remake of Speed Racer. It should simply be Speed Racer.
While the PS5's powerful GPU is capable of pushing graphics to new heights, it comes at the cost of a single shortcoming. The console can only render a maximum of ten rubber ducks in a bathtub at the same time.
This textbook's entry on the American Frontier (Wild Arms): The Metal Demons, legendary destroyers of Filgaia, are returning. Powerless, the Ancient Guardians call upon three to save their once green world.
Google wants to combine the thrills of compression artifacts and input delay with the wonderful world of screeching personality-devoid YouTubers and cold monetization. Will it work?
It's like I'm really looking at bread! No, seriously. THIS LOAF OF BREAD IS HUGE
Like Destiny, Anthem is what you get when you smooth out the rough edges that are secretly the best parts of video games, then smooth the remaining formless blob until all that's left is one third of ACTION PRODUCT WITH LEVELING.
In this updated version of a classic puzzle, you may only ask one question to all six guards before proceeding. None of them may lie but the only question you get to ask is 'So, uh, do you work out?'
Welcome to ScatterShots, a new series where I guess what's going on in random screenshots of old games I've never played.
"We're also going to cram this thing full of processor. The largest processor ever created. The processor will be so enormous that you can use it as a dinner plate - if you're a GIANT! Haha."
Into the Breach. That's the game of the year. Obviously. This concludes the Game of the Year Awards. Thank you for your time.
If you could solve every problem in life by picking up coins and throwing them at strangers, I wouldn't be in jail at this very moment for throwing coins at strangers from the roof of an Outback Steak House
Forgive me, Sid Meier, for I have sinned. I have never finished a 3D Zelda game.
For years I daydreamed about owning a Neo Geo of my own. Unfortunately the $600 console and $200 carts were slightly beyond my budget of zero dollars.
We look forward to seeing you in the game. Maybe one of you can tell us how to change the title screen logo from Gamebryo to Fallout 76.
It only looks weird when you're running through vegetation. Did I mention that about two thirds of Assassin's Creed Odyssey is spent running through vegetation?
Reinstall the original Better Bodies mod to counteract the Far Worse Bodies mod, making all bodies an ideal 80% worse rather than 100% worse
I'm being destroyed by a situation beyond my control! My wife has been very supportive but I can tell that this has shaken her to her core!
Tweaked the difficulty of Spider-Man's final boss fight, in which he faces off with The Puddler
After ten years away (How is that possible???) I've come back for the launch of Battle for Azeroth. There's an overwhelmingly positive buzz surrounding the expansion, and it seems like a good excuse to see how much the game has changed in the last decade.
Bonk: Two Bonks - Me Bonking You, And You Bonking The Floor
It's been nearly two months since our last round of One Sentence Reviews, hasn't it? And since I finally picked up an SNES Classic, why not rate every game on the system while I'm at it? Don't you love it when three rhetorical questions come together?
Reason 1: Nintendo hasn't been able to find a manufacturing partner that can reliably mass-produce tens of thousands of terrible controllers with broken c-sticks.
According to The Division 2's creative director, the game is not political. Does The Last of Us 2 feature smooching? "No." Is there income inequality in Cyberpunk 2077? "Absolutely not."
Metal Nose With Handle - All the convenience of a nose, but now it's portable!
Qualifications: Industry veteran with twenty eight years of experience delivering fist-and-foot-based content to a variety of high profile clients.
The patient, callsign "Dekker", was admitted to the infirmary after shooting at an enemy turret power generator from point blank range. All four of his attacks missed. Dekker, caught up in the excitement, passed out from overstimulation.
After three days I pretty much know everything about game development. Admittedly I may have to learn what it's like to win a lifetime achievement award, but that will come next year.
Sea of Thieves: Reduced the variety of enemy types from skeletons, snakes, sharks, and non-functioning Kraken to [PLACEHOLDER UNTEXTURED CUBE]
I'm making a choose-your-own-adventure comedy game about uninformed choices and unfair consequences. It's called Harm Other, and you can play the demo now.
Before the noted terrible game Destiny 2, and even before Halo, Bungie made fantasy games about dwarfs exploding into gross bloody chunks on hills and bridges.
One month after the launch of Star Wars: Galaxies a scrawny Mon Calamari stands in an Imperial player-created city, hands at his sides and large vacant eyes also at his sides.
The Quake 2 David Letterman skin remains my crowning achievement, a work of art as vital and compelling as it was the day that dave.pcx was uploaded.
Wacky video game logic: If you become injured, try to get healed as quickly as possible.
I didn't expect a reply, but it came. Here, somehow, is Idris Elba's list of 2017's best games.
All gun sights and scopes changed to Fleshlights - zoom in to get a good look at the mysterious sex organ
This covers the first half of the year, from January to July. Which half of the year will the next installment cover? You'll have to come back on December 13th to find out!
The default crosshair is an enormous block of text flashing "YOU ARE A GARBAGE IDIOT". Simply play the game for 100 hours to unlock a regular crosshair, or buy the Elite Sniper Pack for $29.99.
A hot dog leaping, fist raised in jubilation. A sweaty business man making an O with his mouth as his bow tie spins like a propeller. A swirling vortex of dreidels. This is the Japanese box art for Gone Home.
You can open up your inventory and gasp. A thousand keys? Three thousand books? Enough body parts to make twenty entire elves?
Candles scented like planets(?) and Destiny logo ice cube trayss increase KDR by 26% on average! Trusted by Pros
Hosts Spend Entirety Of Weekly 4-Hour Podcast Bemoaning Lack Of Time To Play Discussed Games
Sometimes you just want to zone out and see what happens when your inner moron takes over. Enter two dumbass-friendly games that came out this month, Nidhogg 2 and West of Loathing.
The International is here, cramming roughly twelve thousand hours of DOTA 2 into one week. That's a lot to keep up with! If you miss out on anything just refer to this recap, which describes every match in the tournament.
Solid Snake: "How did they get your password?" Mario: "Ah spaghetti... ah ravioli..."
Seize the mean beans of production with Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine! SEGA!
Today you can slap down fifteen bucks for Diablo 3's new class, the Diablo 2 Necromancer. How does this character rate in the SMPDSI (Skeletal Minion Per Dollar Spent Index)? Let's find out!