Unfortunate Last Words
Wait. Which bottle contains the fruit punch and which one contains the lethal poison that is identically colored and flavored? I'll drink this one. I'm like 51% sure it's the fruit punch.
Awful Link of the Day:
The hottest website for the best $300 dead baby replicas!This Week on Something Awful...
I disavow this dang lynch mob I assembled outside the sheriff's office
There's fixin' to be a hangin' at the sheriff's office and I disavow all involvement in it.
An Ode to the Sneezing Dinosaur From Contra: Hard Corps
A cybernetic wolf man with sunglasses. A snaggletoothed dinosaur. One fateful sneeze. A tale as old as time.
I Just Watched the First Nine Friday the 13th Movies For the First Time
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan was the wrong title for this movie. It should have been called Jason Spends 70 Minutes on a Boat Then 20 Minutes On a Dark Dock Then 10 Minutes In Some Sewers.
Jeff Foxworthy's Fourth of July You Might Be a Nazi Jokes for Border Patrol
If your response to kids dyin' in your cages is to complain that the kids shouldn't have made you put them in your cages in the first place...... you might be a Nazi.
Barcade Fly
My hands are shaking as I stumble into Blippy's Tavern. I'm not sure if it's alcohol withdrawals or a mild seizure from the Astro Fighter cabinet, but the migraine throbbing in my skull like the Contra jungle theme tells me it's probably the former.
Patch Notes: Bloodstained + Super Mario Maker 2
Fixed a glitch in which Mario always screams in pain when he becomes a large man
Never Played a Video Game? Here's Everything You Need to Know
Let me, tell you, how to level, up your elf
E3 2019 Recap-aganza! Fest!
I watched hours of press events so you don't have to read this! Wait, that's not right.
The PC Game Launcher Trash-Off
None of them are as good as Steam. Not even Steam.
Sonic Movie Trailer, Valve's $1000 VR, One Sentence Reviews
Sonic is too dang toothy, VR is too dang pricey, and Euro board games are just right
PlayStation 5: Everything You Need to Know and Some Things You Don't
Includes the world's first images of the hardware!
