Something Awful forum Goon X JAKK has put together an amazing spoof of the critically acclaimed Square game, Final Fantasy III. It's rife with humor from the site and the forums, so if you don't get a joke, then I suggest you join the forums and read the whole site to get clued in. Heathen.

Your best bet as far as running this game if you're using Windows is zsnes, and if you're on Mac OS X SNES9X. If you're using Linux then you've already got a snes emulator stored in your kernel somewhere, go find it.

A quick hint: DON'T GO RIGHT WHEN YOU START. Fragmaster will kick your ass. SO DON'T GO RIGHT WHEN YOU START.

I'll let X JAKK tell you the rest of the story.

I started this one fine day, fall of 2001. I had been playing Skyblade's FF3 Spoof, and I thought to myself "I can do better". So I began, and everyday I worked, I worked, I worked. It caused me to go insane, be kidnapped by a magazine cult, my parents got divorced, and I spent time in jail, ALL FOR THIS GAME.

And now it’s finished.

Is it bugged? Yes. It's not perfect. But it works. It does what it’s supposed to, and now I'm done with it. Oh yes.

If you are offended or angered by a certain feature, let’s look at who is responsible for this crap.

Team Everlasting Discomfort
GeekTheMage - Some dialogue, some sprites, made the damn thing work again.
Kyro Cilliani - Drew the original Hamburglar sprite, named items, calls me names.
Delpino - Gave me 50 bucks because I got him laid.
Brian - Magic names.
Fiwer - I'm not sure what the fuck he did.
BDA7DD - Hosts the site, accuses me of bad grammar.
the SA Goons - Contributed to naming the monsters, various quotes were "borrowed" from them.
Lacool - Consultation, some sprites.
the beta testers - I don't think they did anything either.
X JAKK - Everything else.

Now here's a short FAQ on some stuff

Q: I see blank textboxes sometimes.
A: I crammed a bunch of stuff in, and even with GeekTheMage's compression stuff, I still had to delete a bunch of dialogue to make it all fit. Don’t worry, you aren’t missing anything important.

Q: Is this supposed to be funny?
A: No. It’s a dramatic documentary upon behavioral patterns on the internet.

Q: What’s this about ultimate items?
A: There are ultimate items for everybody, most of them are weapons. You’ll know when you have one, because it will be insanely powerful. I didn’t change the description because I didn’t really feel like it and you should pay more attention to your things anyway.

Q: When I use an ultimate weapon, my guy flies off the screen!
A: He is blown back by the awesomeness of it. Don’t worry; you can still attack like normal.

Q: I got the spell "TCC". What does it do?
A: The Crackhead Clubhouse. Try it, its quite fun. It might look like its bugging out, but trust me, its not.

Q: Dude!! What the fuck man?!?
A: I know... I’m sorry.

A: That’s not a question.

Q: DUDE!???
A: I’m really sorry.

Q: Tell me how to get Lowtax, and tell me in riddle form!
A: You must wander through a certain desert, and the way will present itself to you. The weak may find him easily, but only the strongest can travel with him. If you doubt your skill, perhaps a god among men once stood upon something which may assist you.

Q: Can I be Kefka?
A: Yes.

Q: The names are messed up!
A: If somebody's name is mentioned before their little "introduction" screen comes up, they are referred to by a different name. Ignore that plz.

Q: How do I learn skills?
A: Gamequoter teaches Fistgrrl to dance, and Ms Ozma teaches El Pinto to wrestle.

Q: Why is Pipebomb so weak?
A: Because.

Q: What does Rage do?
A: It lets you do extremely powerful attacks, but it also sets you in a permanent insane rampage so you might also attack your own people, but you also cannot die. The name you choose determines which set of attacks you use for that round.

Q: Can I work on this and make it better?
A: Knock yourself out, I’m done with it.

Q: What tools did you use?
A: Transhexltion, Mr Click's TileEd, FF3usME, FF3ED, FF3usSE., Tony Sorvari's Shitty Script Inserter/Extractor

And now... without further ado...
Ladies and Gentlemen...
I give you... Awful Fantasy III.
Runs with any snes emulator.

Mirror 1
Mirror 2

– Ryan "OMGWTFBBQ" Adams

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful