The Mellotron Cowboy

Mellotron Cowboy: GREEtings to you podner

ChodeKING: hi cowboy

Mellotron Cowboy: IAMACOWBOY

ChodeKING: yep heard that pretty cool.......

Mellotron Cowboy: ARE YOU A COW BOY?

ChodeKING: no just a reguler boy

Mellotron Cowboy: I FIGHT COWS

ChodeKING: what did they do to you?????

Mellotron Cowboy: BETRAYED THE COWBOY CODE

ChodeKING: whats that??

Mellotron Cowboy: YOU ARE NOT COWBOY JUST REGULAR BOY

ChodeKING: i could be

Mellotron Cowboy: I fight cows

ChodeKING: how many have you fought

Mellotron Cowboy: Do you drink blood computer?

ChodeKING: what?????

Mellotron Cowboy: Light talkers the Commanche called you. Thinking iron, the horseless kisser. Their shaman said you would destroy the white man.

ChodeKING: im ur brosev im not a computer

Mellotron Cowboy: I AM A WHITE MAN

Mellotron Cowboy: I FIGHT COWS

ChodeKING: are you tyelling??

Mellotron Cowboy: Dearest Gwen, if you receive this strange letter from a different time, please tell the whores at the Tinkling Turnip that I miss them all dearly. You will be pleased to know they have cured the ginny trots in this dream I am having.

ChodeKING: im not gwen

Mellotron Cowboy: GWEN!!!!! GWEEEENNNNNNN! It's so hard to be away from you now. My tits ache.

Mellotron Cowboy: Gwen, they treat their cows like gods here. They run everything in this terrible terrible dream.

ChodeKING: my name isnt gwen

Mellotron Cowboy: That I cannot see your face on my birthday is the greatest injustice.

ChodeKING: lets talk about commancheeps

Mellotron Cowboy: The Commanche have 65 words for BIRTHDAY. Rakepillo, Zubaz, Propecia...

ChodeKING: do u have a cattle drive????

Mellotron Cowboy: Gwen, I've bought you a tiny horse. I've named it Terry. It's so beautiful, Gwen. Like dawn breaking burnished gold across the mesas. I'm going to give it to you for your birthday Gwen. Teach it to kiss.

ChodeKING: IM NOT FFING GWEN AND ITS NOT MY FING BDAY

Mellotron Cowboy: JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

ChodeKING: hello?

ChodeKING: HELLO????!!!!

Zack: I put him back in his crate. He scratched up my arms and knocked over all of my pictures on the mantle. Thanks for nothing, ChodeKING.

ChodeKING: is that you cowboy guy?

Zack: The next time you need help opening your candy bar try asking Yahoo Answers.

ChodeKING: I DIdnt say anything!!!!

Zack: Tell that to one heartsick cowboy crying to be let out of his crate. Good day, sir.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)