Innovative Impovements!

You know what I love? Products and services. I love 'em. If I have one problem with products and services, it's that every aspect of every instance of them sickens me beyond measure. As usual, it's the SA forum goons to the rescue, with these improvements on many of your favorite products and services, such as "Food shop" and "Car"!

Lucky Guy

a compass that point directly towards your car keys at all times

also it travels back in time so i already have one and can use it to find out where my car keys are right now

SciFiDownBeat

a watercooler/water fountain that displays the daily news and other common talking points

Applewhite

A bar of soap with a charging station for your MP3 player so you can listen to music while you clean.

Stuffguyman

Bizzaro fandango.com where people buy tickets to movies they don't want to see that takes money away from the movie's box office gross.

ghlbtsk

A baseball cap, the front of which is a hidden panel that contains a telescoping arm.
At the end of the arm is a hand with the index finger raised so it can shoot out of the hat and cover someone's lips to shush them if you want them to stop talking.

Applewhite

A land mine with a confetti charge you can bury in someone's yard the night before their birthday.

Dr Cheeto

A refrigerator that uses a voice-activated air cannon to launch beers at thirsty owners

Tomato Burger

Online dating website but for video games. You answer personality questions and it matches you with a video game that you may be interested in.

Or you get the Tinder version and just swipe right on all of the games with cool box art.

Quote-Unquote

Facebook app that shares erotic dreams about coworkers

Nigmaetcetera

Cigarettes that make you look uncool, so you can smoke around kids without worrying about them wanting to imitate your behavior.