so help me CHRIST ALMIGHTY i will turn this thing around and teabag every one of you until you wish you'd never heard of the daily dirt

this little outing was a STUPID IDEA and i have HAD IT UP TO HERE

oh my god do you see this? you've made my beard curl. for christs sake you made my beard curl. i've been cultivating a straight and wholesome beard since goddamn nam and now you've gone and made it curl.

BE QUIET MIRIAM I AM TRYING TO DISCIPLINE THE BOYS, NO I WILL NOT LOWER MY VOICE THIS IS MY FORD WINDSTAR AND I WILL SAY WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE IN IT!!!

oh here come the waterworks, right on fucking schedule

go and sit on a bulbous baby carrot you shameless tart




will someone pass me the pork rinds
i think they're in the backseat

– FRONTPAGE DAD

More Daily Dirt

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2021 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful