Hodor's Quality Video Game Weapon Replicas

Our high quality replicas will wow you with amazement and puzzle you because how can someone craft these fantastical items so expertly? An interesting puzzle, indeed. Each item is made from the finest materials this side of Mordor (as seen in Lord Of The Rings Online) and is guaranteed to be so lifellike you'll swear you're in the Matrix (as seen in The Matrix Online) with a computer showing things to your brain that can't possibly be real.

If your home needs a touch of class or you're looking for that perfect gift for the funeral of a dear friend's infant son, you've come to the right newsletter - or should I say the right newsletter has come to you?

Cloud's Blade From Final Fantasy Seven - $1399

Our most-requested item finally comes to fruition! Everyone has fond memories of playing this classic game and everyone can instantly recall every nuance of the comprehensible story. Now imagine if you could relive those memories without your imagination, but with the very blade that Cloud wielded in Final Fantasy Seven!

This knife from that one part of the game where Cloud ate can easily be held in your hand, placed on a flat surface, or attached to your body with tape. Your significant other's visiting family members will be impressed by the craftsmanship of this iconic blade and your display of good taste.

Can also be combined with a snowman to create a unique "stabbed snowman" look that's guaranteed to make your lawn the center of the neighborhood's attention in the summer months.

Gordon Freeman's Crowbar From Half-Life - $649

Scientists and weaklings everywhere have been inspired by Gordon Freeman, the first video game character that thinks his way out of tight situations by hitting things with a trustworthy crowbar. Now you can be the strong silent type too with this replica. Hope you have room for your Genius Award! And for the crowbar.

In low light conditions, this replica can also pass for the crowbar from Condemned: Criminal Origins.

Stormtrooper Blaster From Lego Star Wars - $449

By combining Lego pieceblocks with the Star Wars movies that were popular in the 70's, the guys who made Lego Star Wars stumbled on a surprise hit. Now we combine the Stormtrooper blaster from that game with our quality craftsmanship and stumble upon something you'd like to buy.

Made of genuine plastic, with remarkably authentic Lego trademark branding. That's attention to detail!

Coat Hanger From Dead Rising - $799

This one-of-a-kind collector's item reanimates Frank's greatest weapon in his fight against zombies. Lovingly crafted out of wire by our expert artisans or possibly found in the dumpster behind Sears.

Order two of this one-of-a-kind collector's item and get an additional replica weapon from Dead Rising at no additional cost (either a compact disc or a bucket).

Nuclear Bomb From Fallout 3 - $89

Your standard nuclear bomb, with active plutonium core on a timed detonator and a 15 megaton yield.

Very basic item but a must-have for fans of the series.

Paintbrush From Okami - $999

The game that was widely regarded as a work of art now has a replica that is a work of art and a tool of art - at the very same time! Woah! This paintbrush meticulously follows the paintbrush that Okami the wolf followed when the player painted air vaginas in the gameplay screen.

Life can imitate art if you use this paintbrush to draw real life air vaginas, but if you paint Okami then art will imitate art which imitated life, right?

WARNING: Describing this item can give you such a headache.

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)