Howdy, guys! Once again Evan "Too Lazy To Walk To The Mailbox To Pick Up His Foodstamps" Wade is out, so I'm taking over! We've got three great forums to look at this week, and because Evan can't get off his ass to touch a keyboard we're going to feature them right on the front page! And if you whine I'll butcher your best friend right in front of your lidless little eyes!
Mega Deals Dot Savings
If there's one thing we all love it's a deal. We also love a bunch of obsessed weirdos getting together to jerk off over discounted junk! Welcome to Mega Deals Dot Savings, everyone!
Looks like "$$ Cash Bailey $$" needs to find a good deal on Xanax. 
Welp, that's it. Can't buy anything better than that. Better wrap it up and take it home, Macy's - you just got served.
Even in the land of discounts justice is swift and merciless. 
RUH-ROH 
"Mealymoney" comes out swinging with possibly the best post ever written. 
Name Your Baby!
The Name Your Baby! forums were designed with young, expecting mothers in mind. Ever seen an Aldi parking lot? Imagine that on the internet only slightly less literate and you have this crowd.
I was thinking more along the lines of "Koont Doomasia" but hey, whatever floats your boat.
Too bad none of those earthquakes killed her Internet connection. 
Imagine that the baby actually wrote the post and it makes it so much better. 
Shit, I was thinking it was "euthanasia". 
Not in these forward-thinking times, it isn't! 
TurtleTreasures
Our friends over at TurtleTreasures recently got a server upgrade. They're still cracking turtles open to look for treasure in their shells, and they're still the creepiest bunch of hobbyists this side of of those creepy "Mormons". Ewwwwwwwww.
"HMX_TurtleMan" proves, once again, why he rules the roost. 
What? Someone disillusioned with cracking turtles open to get rich? Why I never! 
Quite the theory you got there.
This is pretty much the biggest burn in the history of the Internet. 
She's baaaaaaack.... 
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This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- The Final Days Of Nilly Willy Insurance
- A Weekend With Rachael Ray
- Coming Up on the Next Modern Marvels
- Winter Apocalypse!
- The Dave Thorpe Ministry
