Today We Learn English! Lesson 4: The Parts of Speech

This article is part of the Today We Learn English! series.

The parts of speech form the basic fundament which undergirds the English language. To understand them to completion is a vitality: without parts in your speech, your words will be floppy and unbuttressed, and your tongue will loll like a wet windsock, unwilling to have spoken. Avoiding this umbrage with proper practice can prevent the graceless social conduct which more befits the dimwit. Heed, you:

The Noun

When speaking, the noun is that thing which you speak about. That thing which is described by the adjective, you see, or that thing which is done by the verb. The basic basis of our talk, the noun helps us present an object into the mind of the listener. You yourself are likely a noun, though if you are doing a thing you are a verb, and if you are being some way you are an adjective. Likely, if you are sitting still, you are a noun. In the examples below, choose which of the following fellows is a noun:

-Weyre is fat and rather elaborate for his age.

-Arthur is still.

-Dorroile is relishing one of his cruel little victories, paws rubbing together and snickering like he do.

Do you apprehend? You ought to, because this was very simple.

The Antinoun

In existence, each noun requires an antinoun to counterweight its being. As such, new noun coinages are twice as rare as lesser words, for they must spontaneously have created their own antinoun or will be barred from existence. Yourself, you may know more antinouns than you know; popular antinouns, or common standard nouns derived from antinouns, include:

Hube. an.: The dimensionless counterpart to a full boxy shape.

Xave: an.: A cave going outward instead of into.

Slusgh: an.: A mollusk whom quite fancy and not a bit disgusting.

Doq: n.: An inside-out dog.

The Cloun

Merely a cleft noun. Think not of this piddlance, for it is but a pip in the fruit of language. Oh, but would you like to waste my time and yours?

The Pronoun

This clever bird replaces the object when our speaker is too slipshod to command the sentence in full. Common pronounce include he and she to replace the names of those not deserving of full mention, or the corresponding hy and shy to describe they who fit similar circumstances but are more than seven feet tall.

The Plunoun

In contrast to our pronoun, this part of speech is used to needlessly embellish the object of a sentence when the speaker wishes to bluff or stall. Please see the example below to behold this peculiarity:

[Regularly] Dorroile: I intend to drown them all, most of all that Claude Fantsy.
[With Pronoun] Dorroile: I intend to drown them all, most of all him.
[With Plunoun] Dorroile: I intend to drown them all, most of all hoooooooooooo&[continues]

The Adjective

Use the adjective to demonstrate the properties of your subject. For example, how would you describe the interlocking leaves of a cake? Probably, you would as such: "the interlocking leaves of a cake are bewildering." In this cake, bewildering is our adjective. See if ability permits you to find adjectives in these examples:

1. A rooster is pregnant.

2. Croisquessein is invisible or nonexistent.

3. Him took heavy hammer to the layabout.

4. Dorroile torments we ladies with a grotesque dance.

If the answers fail to present itselves, please reconsider the text above and refresh your attempt.

The Antadjective

When being defeated in conversation, use the antadjective to counter the beliefs of your opponent. This part of speech does well to debase they who would impugn, and improper description can be effectively retracted and stricken.

Mary: Dorroile, the cracking of you grisly knuckles is quite awful.
Dorroile: Nerquiteawful.
Mary: Retracted, but your knuckles are still grisly.
Dorroile: Nergrisly.
Mary: Retracted and conceded.

And do you see?