Ain't It Cool News

Ain't It Cool News, submitted by BruceWillis043. There is only one thing worse than an overly opinionated film critic and that's an entertainment sycophant who somehow built up enough credibility to command attention. Harry Knowles is that sycophant and his obsessive and inane site devoted to film (and to a lesser extent TV) has become a fly paper for the bottom of the barrel of entertainment fan boys. Full of bad rumors, wild speculation, and non-stop overdone hype for any pictures that move faster than a Viewmaster, the site has somehow gained a lot of attention from the industry it prostrates itself at the feet of. Like a bearded monstrosity from some H.P. Lovecraft story Knowles has been heaving himself from the Cyclopean tower of his bedroom and into various film festivals, test screenings, and even appearances on TV shows.

Hey folks, Harry here... Oshii is a super genius upon a world of mortals, this film will absolutely own us all. I have no doubt about that. Expect in upcoming months, for James Cameron to be quoted about the genius of this movie... for it is what the bones tell me.

In a society so devoted to consumption we need a lot less people like Harry Knowles. Free of cynicism and with his lips pressed firmly to the revenue streams of every studio on the planet, Knowles is like an avatar to the god's of adoring anything produced and sold. I would throw a few more stones his way but I'm afraid baby Jesus might collapse my DVD racks on top of me for hypocrisy.

Hey folks, Harry here... normally you see Frosty here in those Jedi Council things that Moriarty does... this time he's leaving that geekverse and traveling in another. Film really seemed to knock him for a loop. MUST SEE MOVIE NOW! Beware of spoilers (for those that haven't read the books) here ya go...

The whole of the site is basically one big series of 5 star Amazon reviews for every movie ever made. Knowles would rave about a movie that was a three second loop of a cow exploding set to techno music.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)