Roger Owen For Congress, submitted by scientician. Roger Owen is a man's man. He is a "Southern Democrat," and according to his site, he is damn proud of the fact. Apparently he is also a great humanitarian, since he obviously hired the kids they hide in the basement of the hospital to design his Web site.
I mean, look at this. Besides the fact that the page features twenty different colors of text (in various sizes), we're also forced to look at his giant chipmunk face before we have a chance to shy away. The text is apparently self-aware, too, since it seemed to align itself to various things on my desk instead of the margins of the site.
But what's the real reason we should vote for Roger Owen? The pictures. Besides a group of pictures of a swimming pool being built, we also get this amazing piece of art:
C'mon, people. The man rebuilds pools and talks to clip-art aliens. Vote Roger Blake or throw your vote away, you communist ninny.
–
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.
Previous Articles
- Thè Ø®îgîñål ~Whî†èߺý~
- "Guts" by Chuck Palahniuk
- Purple Bonus
- The Hacker's Diet
- Topless Dancer Seduction Techniques
