3-Chord Dorks (Thanks, Simon!)

3-Chord Dorks is a webcomic about a band-nerd who loves classic rock and his band-nerd friends (including a cool black guy who likes jazz and hip-hop!). Oh, and two girls who the main characters are constantly trying to fuck. If you're having a hard time understanding just why this might be hilarious, let me direct you to the posts he makes underneath the comics, like this review of Rock of Ages in which he complains about how the film failed to show '80s soft-rock tunes enough respect. I assure you, I'm as puzzled as you.

It's almost not worth going into any detail at all about the comics - they're a step below high-school newspaper level in terms of "jokes," and there's certainly nothing interesting-looking about them except that half the time people look like Bomberman. But that's not all this site has to offer! There are also the "Song of the Day" posts, which clearly take a cue from this column and construe the word "daily" as meaning "at some point during a day." This music section is as fucking cheesy as the comic, and includes some real gems, like a double album of Zelda guitar covers that I've discovered is the soundtrack to my own personal hell.

The two together seals the deal for me. His terrible taste in music and insane desire to talk about it endlessly through comics and overlong blog posts pushes it right over the edge of "dumb" to "truly awful." Congrats, Kevin!

p.s. "A highly in-depth analysis of Justin Bieber's music and career. It's quite freaking long" you're fucking shitting me.

– Daryl "Fucking" Hall