AwfulVision: The Movie!

After I submitted last week's article, I was spent. I have done this article for a year and a half and in that time, I've made every possible fat, furry, juggalo, and/or racist joke. I had to come up with a new angle; a new gimmick -- but what?

Luckily for me, an idea came to me while I was hanging a clock in my bathroom. I slipped, hit my head on the sink and promptly invented the Flux Capacitor. I had no idea that hitting your head could cause you to invent things, so I proceeded to bash my skull into the sink several more times, discovering cold fusion, magnetic monopoles, the Higgs Boson and finally the worst concussion I've ever had.

After my return from the hospital, I decided to give it one more go. Unfortunately, it caused me to forget all of the other amazing ideas I came up with, but on the bright side, I finally had an idea for this article!

What if I dubbed audio tacks onto videos to make fun of them as they happened, rather than writing about them? Perhaps I could get a couple of my friends to join in. As far as I know, this had never been done. I felt like Bill Gates when he invented the graphical user interface or Vanilla Ice when he came up with that awesome bass hook for "Ice Ice Baby". I knew I was on to something. Something BIG.

I had initially planned to have cute robotic sidekicks (another "Seth 'Occupy Japan' Bailey original idea) make fun of the videos with me but since I have a budget of exactly -$28 (my original budget of zero dollars, minus 3 dollars for a bottle of Colt 45 minus 25 dollars for overdrawing my account), I had to settle with my two radio DJ friends who do one of those "wacky morning zoo" radio shows for a local station. On the plus side, they have actual voice training so only one of the three of us sounds like an awkward nerd.

Anyway, if you'd like to check out the movie, skip to the last page. Otherwise, stick around because I've still got several pages worth of AwfulVision Classic for you people who still prefer to read lame, unfunny jokes rather than listen to lame, unfunny jokes.