Livestock: Moof I have an idea
Moof: okay go
Livestock: you know how on the stock market
Livestock: you can buy stocks in companies
Livestock: or gold or whatever
Livestock: well what if there was a market where you buy shares in breeds of dogs
Livestock: like you could buy shares of huskies in the summer at low prices, then sell them high come winter when they really shine
Moof: hmm that is a good idea
Moof: after christmas when all the unwanted pets are left to rot on the streets by uncaring children i could buy them cheap
Moof: and then sell them for a lot more next year before christmas as gifts for children
Livestock: yes well not the pets themselves but shares in that breed
Livestock: this isn't about physically buying pets, it's about buying stock in a breed
Moof: what other breeds change value in different seasons
Livestock: well obviously wiener dogs are better in the summer when you can show them off
Livestock: bomb dogs obviously increase in value around the time of terrorist attacks
Moof: yes i suppose
Livestock: well i mean i suppose it wouldn't hurt to own certain dogs physically
Livestock: that way the market is based on something... like a gold standard
Livestock: all the stocks can be backed up with actual dogs that way
Moof: that is a good idea
Livestock: okay well i think we've got ourselves a business venture
BLACK LIVES MATTER!!! NOOOOOOO!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU HAVE CREATED A MONSTER, AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.