Hydrogen: Really, Shatner? No "Hey Bob, there's one of those stupid bombs glued to the helicopter, maybe you guys should jump off and just shoot him from the ground?" I mean I know you're supposed to be cartoonishly evil and all, but that guy on the chopper had the only gun.

Trillaphon: My favorite part of all this is the fake press release those lazy ass FBI guys give out for their cover-up. "Authorities say the senator's helicopter accidentally crashed into his own house, exploded, and then took off and crashed again in a nearby pond."

Hydrogen: I'm sure the flood of press who showed up to the scene had no questions about how the helicopter that blew up simultaneously propelled him half a mile into a pond where he suffered a number of fist-shaped blunt impact traumas to the face and drowned with no signs of being blown up or burned.

Trillaphon: Terrible government coverups aside, this is probably the worst conceivable ending to an action movie that's supposed to be making Jeff Speakman look like a badass.

Trillaphon: Let's review: the seasoned ex-commando martial arts master with the backpack full of C4, the muscle car, and the helicopter all in play, somehow only manages to kill the fat, old, and mostly unarmed US senator by punching him a couple of times while he's down and then drowning him in a pond next to some horsies. Badass.

Hydrogen: What do you think this is, some kind of ridiculous over-the-top action movie fantasy world where people backflip out of trains onto submarines and survive 500 consecutive car crashes in rush hour traffic with no seatbelts?

Trillaphon: Well...yeah.

Hydrogen: Oh. Well, in that case, I guess it's Miller Time?

Trillaphon & Hydrogen: *Clink!*

Plot-9
Acting-7
Special Effects-6
Directing-9
Music / Sound-7
Overall-38/50

– Garrett "Hydrogen" Neil and Sean "Trillaphon" Neil (@trillaphon)

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