The Internet's Small Pleasures

The internet is such an integral part of our lives that we often overlook how shitty and dull it is.

Not that we can be blamed for expecting too much from the internet. Our generations are the first to grow up in a world with a constantly evolving network of information and technology. It potential is limitless. Of course we feel compelled to keep checking in on it to see what it has to offer. Turns out, it's mostly idiots.

Our interactions with the internet are more about routine and vague disappointment than fun or discovery. We keep coming back for a high that's never there, a potential that remains unfulfilled.

So it's up to us to find pleasure in the small things, like...

When you refresh the same six bookmarks for the twentieth time this hour, and one of the sites has actually been updated with something new. After glancing at the headline and the first few sentences you decide that you don't care enough to read further. Still, you feel satisfied. Progress was made.

Or...

You struggle and eventually overcome the urge to argue about some deeply nerdy video game/comic/movie shit. While this internal conflict is going on, someone else steps in and makes your argument. Now you get the satisfaction of seeing the original person refuted, along with the satisfaction of not being the douchebag who corrected them.

Or...

Your daily image search for "good picture" features a new good picture in the results.

Or...

Upon reaching the end of an enjoyable article, you close the tab without accidentally seeing a single comment. Acceptable substitution: You reach the end of the article and discover that the site does not even have a comments section.

Or...

A promotional trailer does not require you to fill in a captcha by looking at a blurry photograph of a meth cook's front door, and it does not ask you to verify your age with a drop-down menu that could never be circumvented by an underage person.

Or...

Someone you respect makes a tweet, and you're one of the first people to favorite it. They're probably nodding in appreciation right now, looking at your profile to learn more about the wonderful person behind the favorite. What will they think of your history? Should you delete that three month old joke about boners? What if they've already seen it, and they see that you deleted it, and they know you're a fraud? God damn is this exciting. I haven't felt this alive in years!

Or...

They finally caught the Bitburglar.

Or...

You compose and send an email in less than five minutes. At no point do you debate the merits of opening with a casual "Hi" versus a more professional "Hello". You do not agonize over the use of an exclamation point. There is no second guessing your complete lack of irony and/or self-effacing humor.

Or...

Improbably, today is the one day of the year that Flash doesn't need to download an update.

Or...

Suddenly everyone is talking about one person. You discover the reason why, and they did not die, commit a crime, or say something sexist/racist.

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)