Subj: IT WAS WRONG OF THEM TO FIRE ME

This article is part of the Roamin' Dad series.

HELLO!!!!!!!! I am a busy man and have a legal case in the works against a former employer whose actions left me upset and up in arms!! I have been terminated from my employment for reasons that are bunk to me and most people who know me except for some of the people at the job. Here is the letter I am sending to the judge.

My Legal Case

Reason Number One I Got Fired Apparently: Dream Dinner

The training said we can make small talk with the customers while the computer is loading their information. I did this all the time like it said and asked them what their Dream Dinner would be because it gets them excited about food and not thinking about me. It worked so well that I asked it at the start sometimes but who cares because everyone loves a great meal and loves to talk about taste sensations. After a few weeks you guys asked me to talk about other things but they didn't work as well (Ways To Set Up Crooked Off-Track Betting)

Reason Number Two I Got Fired: The Breastfeeding Room

I didn't even know it was a breastfeeding room until the third week I was using it to play Jenga and the druid lady from downstairs came in and starting doing stuff to make me scream. It was very messed up and if anyone should have been fired it should have been her for making me scream and run out, which was a thing everyone saw.

I do understand it was wrong to try to save face by telling everyone the druid woman has been sending everyone ghost emails and stealing all of our middle names to give to her weird druid baby who already has 8 or more middle names but I apologized for that already.

The entire reason I started hanging out in that room in the first place was because of the rumor that there was a secret skee-ball machine in there, a rumor which I believed because I either heard it from 2 different people or the same person told it to me twice. I checked out the room and there was no machine but there was a couch and a bigger than normal toilet in it and a very large bra that I waited until everyone else left for the night and respectfully used a stick and brought it all the way to the lost and found.

As I think you can see my case is air tight and a slam dunk!!!!Lets Do It!! Always Bet On The Horse With The Biggest Legs (also a tip for Off-Track Betting)!!!!!!!

THE MOST WRONGED MAN IN TOWN!!!!

– Dad (@fart)