Captain America and the Avengers

At a Glance: As I was walking doing the street I began to wonder how different life would be with some kind of power. I milled over the usual list: being able to fly, super strength, the ability to breath underwater. It only took a few more steps down the middle of the street in heavy traffic for me to realize that all I wanted to do in life was throw a shield and do a little spin jump. I could jump over the car that's about to hit me. Then I would throw a shield at the speckly guy with the "woof arted" hat that flicked me off after he hits me, too. As I lay on the ground I said to myself, "I need to get Captain America for the NES."

Platform: NES (Download Emulator here - 192k)

Download: Download ROM here - 146k

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Game Plot: "Why Captain America for the NES? The arcade game was the best, and it was still better for the Super Nintendo." a hospital attendant asked me.

Because Vision and Iron man have been captured, just like the hospital captured me! It was too convienant that Iron Man and Vision were gone and that I was hit by two cars and a mini-bike. Their capture eliminates the ability to play anyone interesting like a robot that can go through walls or a man in a cool suit that can shoot lasers. Who could do something so villainous? These more interesting characters are quickly enfeebled by a man(darin) with the sharpest moustache this side of Twiddle's Foxmeat barbeque and Moustache Emporium located downtown.

All that is left are the true heroes of the Avengers, Hawkeye and Captain America, regular guys with abilities that are easy for the developers to code. With their furious punching abilities, they travel around the United States in search of their friends like rogue bikers, their valor uncompromised by modern ways and backhanded money-dealing. These two warriors of justice inspired me so greatly that I picked up the crippled man in the bed next to me and toss him out the window to escape. To escape so I can fight crime, like Captain America would. I would become a hero.

Enemies: After using the now dead man's wallet to purchase a costume, it was not long before I came across a foe. Laying on the ground after being mugged I found myself lacking the fighting abilities that Captain America has. Oh how I wish I could have an engaging conversation with my assailant as we fought at the edge of a volcano. The fights within Captain America and the Avengers make you wonder if you are not playing a video game, but playing a real comic book! But since the fights in this game are so boring and monotonous, it would have to be one of those comic books without a cover, stuffed underneath a bed, wrapped in tape that has "do not read - this sucks" written all over it in sharpie.

I asked a guy walking by me if only having six different types of enemies even warrants putting an "s" after it. He punched me in the face, which I believe counts as a "no". This cements my opinion on the enemies for this game: the limited amount of enemy types completely kills the game's playability, especially when some of the enemies take so long to kill. He punched me again.

Weapons: Your basic weapons are what man emerged from the primordial ooze with: a bow and a shield. Captain America can use his shield to hit enemies from afar, deflect bullets, dash into people and kill them easily, and even use it to protect himself from deadly acid. Hawkeye can shoot his bow diagonally. PRO TIP: Hawkeye is useless.

Upgrades of power and health are available if you collect enough crystals, reaffirming that with great power comes lots of jewel thievery. I picked up a trashcan and threw it into a jewelry store window, stealing as much as I could. It wasn't enough, it seems, because I ended up getting the crap kicked out of me by the police.

Levels: Levels within the game are very similar to life in prison: everything looks the same and you have to collect glowing red balls to get by.

Bosses: Bosses are almost exactly the same as the regular enemies except they are more annoying and shoot more lightning bolts at you and take longer to kill. How are they the same, you and my parole officer may ask? They are the same because they are exactly the same kind of poorly coded monotony that you face every time you run into a single boom-box wielding robot. That sentence was just a thousand times more interesting than actually fighting anything in this game, as Data East attempted to replicate the toughness of arcade game bosses without the quarters or friends or fun. At the end of my quest, securely placed in solitary confinement for biting off the ear of my parole officer, I finally get what I want - Captain America and the Avengers for NES&.in my mind.

Complete Lies from the Internet: What kind of lies are people spreading about Captain America and the Avengers for NES? Each and every letter in these sentences are mental propagandi that only aid in polluting the gamesphere.

The number one reason to buy this game is that it is a Marvel Comics game and if you collect such games there is your number one reson.

- JohnHardy2Xtreme

Captain American and the Avengers had very colorful graphics for it's time. The outdoor areas were beautifully shaded, and the indoor areas were done very well.

- Agentblue00

Each category in the rating system is based out of a possible -10 score (-10 being the worst). The overall score is based out of a possible -50 score (-50 being the worst).

– Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson