Why You Should Play Video Games: An Argument Based Entirely Upon Patent Drawings

1. Video games let you connect with technology in unique, meaningful ways

2. They're a great way to find the love of your life

3. They provide a perfect excuse to purchase that big screen TV you've been eyeing

4. They give you and your closest friends something to do while you collectively get your hair did

5. Peripherals are a little pricey, but they pay off in the long run as conversation-starting pieces of art

6. When life isn't going well, you can always count on video games to make you feel like a hero and treat you with respect

7. Players of all types are welcome, whether they have three heads, a dive mask, no body, or they're two dimensional

8. Big sword shrink so for you can fit in Acropolis

9. No other hobby makes you feel quite the same

10. Video games make it socially acceptable to point at Jane

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)