From the Stars, submitted by Kris. Holy mackerel! From the Stars, the spiritual soapbox of Dr. Nicholas F. Schmidt, provides a truly gay and uplifting journey into the mysteries of the universe, and pretty much all of them. Before we cover some of the content of his site, let's take at the author:

I entered the Earth plane on September 2, 1941 in the city of New York. My parents and my sister, whom I chose prior to incarnating, were waiting for me with lots of love and affection. I could not have made a better choice. Little did I know it then, but another wonderful sibling, my brother, would follow 16 years later.

I think that's enough to indict him. To sum him up, he's one of those crazy guys who can't nail down his beliefs and so he just accepts it all as powerful mystical energy that manifests itself as love or some equally indecisive gobbledygook. Let's move onto his crazy content, starting with the rise of feminine energies:

The children of today will have more male-female balance than their parents did. They are filled with revolutionary ideas that will help to usher in the New Age and nurture change. It is up to their parents to recognize and honor these young and powerful spirits. They have chosen to incarnate at this time with full knowledge that the time has come for Aquarius and that the feminine energy will continue to influence how we think and act towards one another as a human family.

...

Finally, the emerging Goddess energy will remind us that our Source is neither man nor woman. Rather our God is the union of all energy in the universe, both feminine and masculine.

Yes, and an example of this powerful new feminine energy is a woman placing flowers on the shields of riot cops. What an amazing transforming undercurrent that's turning us into new and better people. Sounds like Dr. Schmidt could stand to spend some time in the untamed wilds of New Guinea regaining his manhood.

There is plenty of wacko UFO coverage, including remarkable photos of blurry lights that just have to be flying saucers, because it's not like they could be anything else. Oh, and those flying saucers just have to be divine, enlightened beings wishing to help us tap into a deeper understanding of the universe. As he puts it so eloquently, "those in control on planet Earth do not want us to pledge our allegiance to ETs who are benevolent and loving." Sounds like Dr. Schmidt could stand to spend some time in the probing room of a UFO losing what little manhood he has left.

Is it possible that you came to planet Earth from another star system? Are you here on a special mission to help this planet and its human family shift into a higher vibration by raising the spiritual awareness of those around you?

As incredible as it may sound, there are many people on planet Earth today who have a deep, inner knowingness that they may indeed be here as a Starseed. Such individuals are often educated and respected members of society. They can be found in the fields of medicine, law, teaching, the humanities and other walks of life that seem to center around some form of service. Millions of others are in the process of awakening at this very moment. And they too are seriously wondering if they came from the stars.

OKAY.

Did I mention this site has a layout goofy enough to match the ridiculous content? Well, it does. If you are in need of spiritual healing or indiscriminate soulful advice from a man from Neptune then look no further. You're good enough, you're smart enough...

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful