Rainbow Primates, submitted by Glittery Monkey Jesus. With all the depressing and disgusting sites on the Internet, it sure is swell to sit back and read about something nice for a change. This site is one of those nice things. It's the tender website of someone who isn't a poet by trade, yet can express herself in poetry just as well.

My Primate means more to me, than anything,
She's the wish I'd once dreamt,
She is an Angel, sent by God,
To ease my heart's lament.

She's my little angel, my prize,
The gleam within my eyes,
I love her more than anything,
And I hate it when she cries.

I love my little monkey with all my heart,
She's an Angel from above,
She has given me more than I can give,
She taught me how to "love".

As you might have guessed by that disturbing poem, this site is about damn dirty apes. If you have a few thousand bucks to spare and want to buy a lousy monkey, this is a great place as it is very colorful and everything sparkles, including some of the pictures of the monkeys. Apparently they are shiny or coated in some sort of magical lice. Either way, that probably makes them more valuable.

I hope you don't get the impression that this site is all monkey business, because it does tackle some serious issues. 9/11, for example, is given due tribute. Perhaps it's the kindness of mourning a horrible tragedy that earned this site so many awards, making it one of the most acclaimed monkey business sites on the web. I don't know, it's not for me to say. I just know that I like the sparkling colors, the lovely midi music, and the pictures of monkeys dressed up in human clothing.

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful