Ready Kids

Ready Kids, submitted by z64dan. Whenever our stupid government does anything geared towards kids it always ends up really lame and creepy whether it's about bullies or escalator safety. The Department of Homeland Security's web site Ready Kids really amps up the creepiness factor.

Basically a family of mountain lions that look like they were pulled straight out of furry gangbang site teach children about surviving everything from tornados to terrorism to blimp attacks. What really creeped me out though was the effort they put into the elaborate backstories for each character.

Purrcilla is Rory's mom and Rex's wife. Purrcilla is friendly and energetic, and she will defend her family with power and strength at a moment's notice. Her wisdom and common sense come in handy when Rory is confused and has questions.

SHE LOVES: Drawing! She has passed on her love of drawing to her daughter. Purrcilla enjoys taking her box of pencils and paper outdoors to sketch scenes from nature. She loves the peace and quiet.

While I appreciate the gesture Department of Homeland security I'm not sure how knowing this helps my kids survive suicide bombers. Thanks again government.

I would have hated to be the one kid who had parents that expected me to learn this crap. Screw safety, I want to play with my Legos!

– Hassan "Acetone" Mikal