Ring Masters

Ring Masters, submitted by . We’ve all seen lame clan pages before, but most of those clans are regulated to games like Quake or Tribes. Here’s an equally clueless collection of individuals that pretend to be gangsta fighter pilots on the Internet online game scene!

Our primary goal is to PUNISH all those cheap azz players in IBS. {RM} targets those punk azz slopperz, vulchers, ditchers and shit talkers. We target those fags that only target and harass new people. We don't like you and we don't feel that you should have a fair opportunity in IBS. We know that you are worthless. We know that you have no skillz. And we know that we're gonna boot your azz so hard, you're breath will smell like friggin SHOE POLISH.

We're gonna ride ho's till the ridin's done and that's exactly what all you CHEAP AZZ players out there are. You are all HO's. Better yet... You are all {RM}'s HO's and you will get spanked.

Keep in mind that these guys play flight simulators. The gangstahs have taken to the virtual skies of aerial combat, so watch out for cap busting and representation! The rest of the site consists of the usual “I so badass” posturing written by kids who’ve listened to dangerous amounts of bad late 90’s hip-hop and a huge list of the Ring Master’s rules. Basically, the rules state that the Ring Masters always win and that the Ring Masters are better than you. As we all know, people who have huge forum post counts or high rankings on online tournament ladders are better, cooler, and more sexually capable than us normal Internet users. These people deserve to receive V.I.P. treatment at gas stations, god dammit! They waste most of their lives trying to bad-asses on the Internet, and deserve our compassion.

I guess I really shouldn’t be dissing the Ring Masters, since they claim to “boot your azz so hard, you're breath will smell like friggin SHOE POLISH.” I bet they could really smack me down in a virtual dogfight! Gosh, perhaps they’ll send BiGTRAIN{RM} and TrApEzE{RM} over to berate me for confusing a F-22 with a 727. Golly gee, I’m running scared!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)