Goth Goddess? Yeah, I'm wit it. You mean somebody like Maggie Gyllenhaal in Cecil B. DeMented or Lizzy Caplan in Mean Girls, right?
Come see a creature of the night with while skin, the reddish of lips, and very long midnight black hair.
Sounds promising. I guess she means "white skin" instead of "while skin," but I don't choose my dominatrices based on their spelling skills! I use important criteria such as "redness of lips" and "does she offer mummification?"
Her nails are usually a dark red matching the red toes of her tiny feet. Otherwise your Goddess will be wearing long black gloves to cover her whilte arms. She is highly educated with a Masters of Arts in English literature, and a B. S. in Counseling Psychology, and this enables her to get into your head as nobody else can.
OK, it seems a little strange that someone with a Masters in English literature would misspell "white" twice, but whatever, maybe she's just doing that to get into my head.
Fuck it, I've delayed the gratification of looking at photos for long enough, suffering forced withholding in true subservient fashion. I've read the list of services while holding a hand over the image-heavy half of the screen and I've confirmed "sissies are welcome," "tickle torture," "no brown showers," and "mummification" (Yes!). Now let's see:
Rubber gloves, red bows, some sort of rose-tattoo waistband -- this all seems to be in order. And the Dustbuster lets me know she cares about cleanliness!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.