RiffTrax uses the slogan "we don't make movies, we make them funny!" By contrast, the guy behind Retard Card selects baseball cards that are already funny, then diminishes the humor value with his witless commentary. Retard Card Dave rehashes his "I'm sure that signature is really valuable" quip whenever he encounters a no-name player's autograph. Other specialties include dispensing no-shit trivia ("As if the name Randy Johnson wasn't phallic enough, his nickname is 'The Big Unit!'") and engaging in sub-sitcom wordplay ("Mike Sweeney. Get it?! Mike's weeney!")
Dave probably does a better job than anyone on the Internet at compiling the baseball cards of players in these categories: a) ugly, with gross facial hair b) dick jokes can be made from their names c) combination of "a" and "b." As for his writing approach, at least he goes with "less is more," but it's probably time for "any is too fucking much."
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This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
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Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
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Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
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About This Column
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.
Previous Articles
- Steve Perry Fanfiction (Thanks, rangergirl!)
- Ravenlore (Thanks, Slinky!)
- Busty Heart's Place (NWS!) (Thanks, AvidAcid!)
- The Parody Network
- Demon Slayer (Thanks, Lyla!)
