Goons


The Something Awful forums are unlike any other forum on the internet: Sexism, racism, and posting like a retarded 12 year old who just discovered AOL are strictly prohibited. Of course, that means that 97% of the internet isn't really welcome here. What kind of people does that leave to fill the void? Goons.

The SA Forums are an eternal struggle between goons who do goony things (like rig up a Sega Genesis to voltage spike their cable-stealing-neighbor and destroy his TV, rasterbate huge pictures of anime and video games to adorn their bedroom walls, profess their undying love for Ron Paul or ponder the eternal question of why white people can't say "nigger") and the goons who hate them.

"Dan G." sent in this video a goon named "One Armed Man" decided to post on the forums one day for some reason only known to himself and God. As you will guess approximately 0.0001 seconds after clicking play, "One Armed Man" is perhaps the gooniest of goons.

In One Armed Man's own words:

"Oh man, I forgot another one. The same year (senior year) after the ap test we had about a month of nothing to do in the school's highest level of calculus. One part of a project was a music video. a few of my better friends made a parody of White&Nerdy which is itself a parody of Ridin' Dirty. The same editor from the other project editted. A few choice lyrics included "They see me derivin'. They hatin'" "I am just a calc-lus genius" In place of "I guess Im white & nerdy"<-- this which should of had about 3 syllables too many for the part he was in.
Ours wasnt much better because we did a death metal calculus song, on top of some Dimmu Borgir song. The class was stunned seeing a Canadian (his idea, singing and lyrics), me (not too gothy), and a preppy ginger with full face paint playing Guitar Hero controllers in the woods for four minutes. He called it 'The dirivative of nine'."

The long and short of this is basically some dork actually managed to out-nerd "Weird Al" and I guess is proud of it or something. To him I say "Semper Fi, Goon sir".

Critics Corner

"I can say without hyperbole that this is the worst video I have ever seen. Be it television, internet, or any other medium. It is awful beyond all words."
-piemanmoo

"This is bad and you should feel bad"
-SpadeHand

"whatÿ a goddamn piece of shit video from a bunch of cock sucking unfunny faggots"
-fuckdimebagdarrell

More AwfulVision

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful