Nevermind the Bullocks, Here's WinterBand.

Submitted by Albert G.

Once again, we bring you our massively popular "Videos From a Mirror Universe Where the Only Difference Is That In This Universe ZZ Top All Sustained Massive Head Wounds, Converted to Pentecostalism and Started Posting Videos on YouTube" feature. This week: WinterBand!

Actually, maybe the ZZ Top reference was a bit off. These weirdo beardo's are clearly their generation's Beatles (and, judging by their age, William McKinley was their generation's president). I mean, look at all the similarities!

  1. I'm pretty sure that much like the Beatles, WinterBand is all male (since Pentecostals basically view women as occupying the societal space somewhere between live-in chattel slaves and human-shaped jack off devices/baby factories).
  2. There's also 4 of them (though granted, Paul died, the Beatles didn't replace him with a clone of John).
  3. The Beatles played instruments. WinterBand "plays" instruments. See? Totally the same thing if you discount the sarcasm-drenched quotation marks!
  4. The Beatles said they were bigger than Jesus. WinterBand denies the existence of the triune godhead. Both of these statements contain religious bullshit I don't care about.
In closing, I'd also like to give their lead guitarist some props. It'd be hard to film solo masturbation and have it turn out more awkward than the Octomom's porn video, but Brother Ezekiel managed to do it. In yet another "hilarious" pop culture tie-in, I'm sure he also has 14 kids that hate him.


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