A special treat for you all today - two things! On page one, the folks from the Something Awful forums' BYOB subforum talk about orgasms, and on page two, they talk about sexy computers! I don't often say this, but today's Goldmine has something for literally everyone!
The Something Awful Forums : Main : BYOB: an island of chill and magic in a sea of madness. : An orgasm is the most alright a person can feel
Having sex and doing an orgasm is the most okay you can be. It is impossible to feel fine in a more correct way than by shooting orgasms on or in a person(s). Sex orgasming is the peak of the human feeling of being not too bad today.
me: *lighting two cigarettes, passes one to her* "hmm that was kinda neat"
her: *puffs* "...i mean, sure."
"I'm almost there, I'm almost there, I'm almost -- ooooh goooood can't complain, things are pretty okay I guess."
"hey wow, thanks for this nice orgasm, susan. that was really thoughtful."
"my favourite orgasm? Hmm maybe Shrek? Oh, I uh I guess I don't understand the question"
I bet orgasms will be a pretty big thing on the internet someday but don't quote me on that.
Try sexy talk like, "I'm gonna respect the heck outta you" and "you're totally acceptible, babe"
we are mostly inhuman. some 90% of cells in the human body are bacterial, fungal, or otherwise non-human. the human gut alone contains on average 100 trillion microbial cells. we are using only the tiniest fraction of our orgasm capability. it's time for the biggest simu-cum project the world has ever seen.
Researchers are unsure how to share their recent findings that most adults diagnosed with ADHD are actually more likely to be suffering from another lesser known malady - NCES (Not Cumming Enough Syndrome).
I'm surprised you people can type with all the hair growing from your palms not to mention I'd assume you've all gone blind by this point in your extravagant lust filled lives. I can only assume you're all using some kind of speech to text software.
Obi-Wan: I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
Luke: *exits the spaceship bathroom after throwing a crumpled tissue into the space toilet, a guilty look on his face* What? Ben? HOW DO YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHEN I'M MASTURBATING!?
There's nothing like curling up in an armchair with a good book, a cup of cocoa, and just shooting orgasm goo all over the walls and floor like a fucking sprinkler system.
In these contentious political times it is more important than ever to work together in a bipartisan way with the people who said I should be thrown out of a helicopter for being an Antifa terrorist.
This Halloween, log off and visit your friends at the local Halloween Superstore.
Better than expected, and absolute garbage
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.