Smoking weed with Grandma... not too hard to imagine... (For more threads about the funny drug of weed, please check out BYOB)
Ride The Gravitron
She'll bake a whole batch of brownies when you get the munchies
grandma: try this new strain I developed
me, after much bubbling and disbelief: ...werthers originals????
no grandma, you can't feel your face because you are high, you aren't having a stroke
tries to take one nug from the candy dish but they all stuck together
me: why doesn't grandpa ever smoke with us?
grandma: that doddering old bitch went straight edge in 2003
grandpa: *sits in corner listening to minor threat, drawing x's on his hands*
Ride The Gravitron
Grandma's been telling the story of the first black drug dealer she bought from for over 30 minutes. No grandma you aren't allowed to call them that word anymore!
Me, smokeing the WEED PLANT with grandma: Wowe grandma, I can't believe I'm finally smoking weed with you, after all these years.
Grandma: [weed smokerishly] I told you we could do anything you want for your sixth birthday and Grandma doesn't fuck around.
A Spider Covets
Grandma's prized bong resting upon a handmade doily
me: grandma, what big teeth you've got
grandma: are you going to keep talking shit or are you going to hit this
*listens to voicemail*
Lubys: uhhhh hi Eonwe, this is Lubys..you know the buffet. your grandmother is here causing a disturbance. she is eating all the flan and we'd like someone to come pick her up
Me: I'm geeking out here, I can't believe I'm smoking weed with grandma.
Children on the train: That woman is having a marijuana hallucination, which we learned about in school.
Peanut and the Gang
Grandma's doing a crossword and every ACROSS is "A four letter word for marijuana"
g'ma: *nudges your ribs*
Grandma: I'm smokeing weed
Me: Me too.
Grandma: We're smoking weed together
Me: We are
Grandma: Who could have imagined it?
Me: [worried] Imagined what?
Grandma: That we would be smoeking weed.
Me: [relieved] Oh. I thought you meant something else.
Grandma: I didn't.
Me: You meant that we're smoking weed together.
Grandma: That's what I meant.
Me: Pretty funny, that we're doing that.
Grandma: You think so?
Me: I do.
Grandma: Now that I think about it, me too.
Me: Well, it was nice smokeing weed with you but now I have to go.
Grandma: I'm so lonely.
Me: You want me to turn on the TV before I leave?
Grandma: Growing old is a horror.
Me: You want HGTV or...
Grandma: I've never been anything to you but a nice old lady, but there's so much more to me.
Me: I learned that today, by smoking weed with you.
Grandma: Ok, that's good to know, but I am still lonely.
Me: Me too.
Grandma: Stay here and smoke more weed with me.
Me: I can't. I told Todd I would pick up his shift.
Grandma: I'll see you later, I guess.
Me: Later days, Grandma.
Me: [in the car, driving away] Smoking weed with grandma is funny.
We put HelloFresh to the test and discovered new enlightenment. Now we thrive and grow. THANK YOU HELLOFRESH!
As we say in the podcast biz, "If Joe Rogan can do it, anyone can."
Guess what's back? Frosty tundras! And me.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.