Ninja Pangolin
"The mixture had a thick, cummy texture" -a girl at my table wrote this in her lab notebook in eleventh grade Chem II.
Goddammit I hate my high school.
Lyssavirus
In a senior level Health class, we were going over basic reproductive systems again, and the teacher was using one of those sideways drawn 'x-ray' posters of a female to point stuff out. A girl next to me suddenly asks, "So why can't you get pregnant from anal sex?" This girl had a child nearing two or three. The teacher just looked defeated.
agonytuesday
High school
"What was Hitler's last name?"
Captain Chestbeard
"I thought your lungs were in your throat?"
Pirateparty
"If you spill soda on a keyboard the sugar from it will travel through the cord into the computer and ruin it."
My Teacher.
Boon
In one of my Finance classes, the day after an exam, one of the girls in my class complained that: "Does the multiple choice have to be worth so much? It makes the exam really hard."
turbomoose
Girl at my high school while debating the decision to drop the atom bomb:
"We had to drop the atom bomb because the Japanese had a Heat Ray!"
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.
