A user submitted email spam prank? Yup, Tyler Immaly sent in this little sucker where he was able to prank some jackass spamming for his lame anti-drug site. Here's a quote from Tyler's email to me:
"This prank doesn't have a single use of the word 'fuck', so it must be highly excellent. I apologize for using 'Pak' and 'Chooie' in the final email, but 'Chooie' was such a perfect name for a man-eating alligator that I couldn't resist."
Sounds good to me!
From: "Michael Meredith"
To: Tyler
Subject: MOM! DAD! Parent Alert! Warning!Your Kids Are Easy Prey For The Drug Pushers!
Recent news stories highlight the rapid increase in recreational drug use among our youth. All areas, both metropolitan and rural are infected with this life-changing epidemic. Smooth talking, charming young drug pushers are seducing grade school and older children with daily empty promises such as "how can anything that feels so good be so bad?"
Kids are DYING with their first experience. Young brains are being forever burned out and thousands are hooked on their first try. Parents and grandparents are borrowing and spending huge sums of money for rehabilitation that oftentimes doesn't work. The young drug pushers continue to make big money, most go unpunished and your child or grandchild could easily be the next victim.
It's time to take a stand, before a whole generation is lost, destroyed by this insidious ignored killer. I have just launched a NEW, Million Family Campaign for a Drug Free America. You can become part of this NEW Campaign right now, just go to http://www.kidsagainstdrugs.com/Family%20Program.htm and discover our brand new Family Program. Learn how you can Teach Your Kids the TRUTH About Drugs. Show them how to turn their backs against drugs. Make your home a safe, secure drug free zone. It's easy, fun and low cost.
Help spread the word by forwarding this Parent Alert to your friends and family members. Then come to http://www.kidsagainstdrugs.com/Family%20Program.htm and become one in a million. Join us today! You'll be thankful you did.
Sincerely,
Michael J. (Mick) Meredith
National Director, Kids Against Drugs Campaign for a Drug Free America.
From: Tyler
To: "Michael Meredith"
Subject: Re: MOM! DAD! Parent Alert! Warning!
Dear Michael,
Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate you taking the time out of your, no doubt, busy day to warn me about the dangers of drugs to my children. As a parent, I am very concerned about anything which might in some way harm my child. This is why we filled in the pit out back of our house and sold the alligators. I'll sure miss those guys, but we couldn't afford the danger to our son. As you can imagine, he gets into everything!
Anywhoo, the reason I am writing you today is to ask you a question about your web site and your program. I looked around and found out as much as I could, but one question I had wasn't answered. Before I go ahead and purchase your program I was wondering if you could take some more time to explain one aspect of the program to me.
I may have already said this but as a parent, I am very concerned about the well-being of my child. I was therefore very alarmed when I read that "Kids are DYING with their first experience". Does your program let us know which drugs are killing kids with their first experience? Does it explain what might cause this sort of violent reaction? Are there some drugs that Kill all kids? Or some drugs that kill, say, kids who are allergic to peanuts? Could my child be allergic to cocaine? How can I tell if a drug is safe for my child to try?
To me, this is very important information. As I new parent I want to keep myself as informed as possible about the dangers that could beset my child and as I'm sure you can imagine, this isn't the kind of question I can go to the police or the social workers about. I feel like I can't really go to anyone without making *myself* look like some sort of drug fiend.
So I'm hoping, I'm praying Michael, that your program will give me the information I need to ensure that my child is able to experiment in a safe and well informed environment.
Sincerely,
Tyler Immaly
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About This Column
Our Something Awful email pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these email pranks are all - unfortunately - real.
