You are not a superstar athlete unless you have your own logo and brand identity. Are you a focused super athlete? A "brainy" player with a sly style? An intense bad boy with nothing to lose? Hire a graphic design firm through your management agency and help shape that brand like these 9 amazing athletes.

1. Kobe Bryant (Shooting Guard, Los Angeles Lakers)

Kobe's famously baffling techno mantis triad has been updated with this Black Mamba snake for 2013. The snake is meant to represent a penis. The triad of techno shapes is meant to represent three penises. The four penis logo is available for everything from t-shirts to baby bibs.

2. Derek Rose (Point Guard, Chicago Bulls)

Derek Rose's "D rosette" is meant to illustrate the letter "D" and a CT scan of a meniscus tear. He was inspired to brand all of his merch with the logo after receiving roses from an anonymous fan during rehab.

More Features / Articles

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful