Kicks Online seems to have a very bizarre fascination with balls and I don't mean soccer balls -- I am talking aboutdeliciousdisgusting human balls. I am beginning to become suspicious that the development team of Kicks Online is made from the same group of idiots that huddle around YouTube and watch clips of people being hit in the nuts by any slew of projectiles. At least three or four victory dances have someone being kicked or hit in the jewels by some foreign object causing them to fondle themselves while kicking and screaming. Even the normal game play has it's fair share of sack shots. Throughout my Kicks Online experience, my character bent over holding his coin purse one too many times for me to bare. Oh and ladies, don't worry; there are kicks and balls flying at your baby makers as well. Since I am fresh out of testicle synonyms, I suppose I should move on.

He was kicked in the balls! Ha ha! Get it guys? Guys? Come back! It is hilarious!
This game reeks of so much garbage that the Goon Ckrew basically abandoned it immediately and went to find something better to do. I really don't blame them as playing Kicks Online can suck all the life out of someone and make them never want to play another game again.

Yeah I know this article is a bit shorter than usual but I couldn't stand playing this game a second longer. Hell, you shouldn't complain as it was less text to wade through to get to the disappointing video at the end. Think of this article like a fortune cookie that you didn't eat but instead smashed to get to that juicy fortune that ended up inducing a feeling of "ugh why did I bother to smash this cookie, I want my effort back."


I would like to thank the few that stayed around and kicked balls at each others... balls: Dark_Talon, Spelling Mitsake, Sourpuss, centax, maxdamage, Filthy Assistant, Baron Pedro, Garth Vader, AtomicOrange, mmmuffins, Kamoc, PenaltyMan, tomanton, and ptlsaints

– Steve "Khad" Grant

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