Trillaphon: Jesus, that must be some pretty spooky microwave popcorn that guy was making there.
Hydrogen: Yep, I know when I'm all alone and the kids are out of the house I like to kick back and enjoy a nice quiet 'sit and look at family photos' session with a "1000 Spooky Sound FX" CD playing in the background.
Trillaphon: Is the camera work supposed to be that shaky, or did the DP just go into moonshine withdrawal and start DTing all over the place in the middle of shooting?
Hydrogen: He should have known better than to try to have an afternoon snack in...A DOOM HOUSE?!?!
Trillaphon & Hydrogen: ...
Trillaphon: Wait, are we sure this movie wasn't directed by Lowtax?
Hydrogen: I'm more interested in how that guy gets through the day if he has massive psychotic episodes every time children talk to him.
Trillaphon: Maybe he just has to avoid butchers, Amish people, and Bennigan's and he's more or less stable.
Hydrogen: That whole episode is supposed to be some kind of psychic vision about how his kids are in danger down at the old corn maze, but he's not really foreseeing anything in particular. Not even the mild excitement of the corn thresher actually returns at any point.
Trillaphon: I'll have you know that there's no greater rush than operating farming equipment, if you do it right.
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Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.